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Self-Compassion 

Posted on May 3, 2023 - 5:13 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Self-Compassion 

#24 Self-Compassion [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#24

Self-Compassion 

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Self-Compassion 

The antidote to shame is self-compassion, one of the most powerful tools we can use to reduce the effects of trauma and strengthen our emotional, mental, and physical well-being.
Download this resource (PDF)

#24 Self-Compassion [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#24

Self-Compassion 

The antidote to shame is self-compassion, one of the most powerful tools we can use to reduce the effects of trauma and strengthen our emotional, mental, and physical well-being.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Celebrate Your Victories

There is a common misconception that we must be “perfect” or “better” in order to be worthy of compassion—that we are not deserving of it until we overcome our perceived shortcomings, limitations, or failures. Sometimes we may feel that we still have too much work to do or too many flaws to fix before we can allow ourselves grace. But this is not the case. In fact, self-compassion and imperfection go hand-in-hand. Self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and perceived inadequacy are part of the shared human experience.

Self-compassion not only involves acknowledging this suffering and the things you’d like to do differently. It also involves acknowledging your victories and what you have already achieved today.

Because the healing journey is an ongoing process, personal victories achieved along the way can go unnoticed. You might have days where you feel you’ve made little progress in your healing. You might get frustrated and impatient, focusing on doubts, struggles, and setbacks you’ve experienced. These kinds of thoughts and feelings can happen instinctively, which is why it’s important to practice self-compassion and recognize that no matter where you are or what you’ve done (or haven’t done), you are strong and resilient now.

Today’s activity is about highlighting your present strength, courage, and impact. Similar to how you’ve been sharing a personal triumph during each check-in, this activity centers around noticing the good things you are already achieving every day and practicing self-kindness in the face of difficulties.

Activity steps

01
Look back at either today or yesterday and identify at least three victories you’ve achieved.

This could be anything you see as a personal triumph, no matter how small it may seem. Some examples might be:

  1. I got out of bed.
  2. I finished a project.
  3. I took a breath to ground myself.
  4. I held a boundary.
  5. I tried something new.
  6. I made progress on something important to me.
  7. I gave myself a compliment.
  8. I set aside time for self-care and/or play.
  9. I told my kids I loved them.
  10. I practiced safe touch.
  11. I engaged my body in movement.
  12. I ran an errand.
  13. I spent time outside.
  14. I noticed something beautiful and positive.
  15. I practiced self-compassion.
02
Take a moment after listing your three triumphs to appreciate your actions from today or yesterday.
Similar to the activity “Your Future Self Will Thank You,” you may decide to write a short message to your past self, thanking them for the personal triumphs they achieved and for practicing Aspiration through healing thoughts and actions.
03
Make a plan to repeat this activity at the end of the day, taking time before bed to look back and identify a victory you’ve achieved.
You could also keep track of these observations by writing them in a gratitude journal. When you are feeling down on yourself or struggling to practice self-compassion, refer to this journal to remind yourself of all the victories you have achieved. You could also try incorporating your victories into art journaling or other types of creative expression.   
04
If you later feel you are not in the headspace to reflect back on your triumphs from the day, try an activity that seems more doable and calming, such as coloring, working on a puzzle, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, or laying out your clothes for the next day. As you do the activity, giving yourself time and space to simply be, occasionally direct your thoughts back to the day you just had and the triumphs you achieved. If you are still having difficulty thinking of a victory, you can write down the calming activity you just engaged in and the effort you put into fostering self-compassion.
Note: You can get more out of this activity by making it a daily practice. However, anytime is a good time to appreciate your personal triumphs.

Grounding Exercise

Butterfly Hug

The butterfly hug—sometimes referred to as the “self-love hug”—is an example of sensory grounding involving touch. It is also a self-soothing technique you can use any time you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or triggered.

Activity Steps

01
Get into a comfortable position, either sitting up or lying down.  
02
Cross your arms over your chest and rest the tips of your fingers on your collarbone, shoulders, or arms. 
03
Next, gently tap your arms, alternating sides. As you do so, breathe in and out.
04
Continue this exercise for 2–5 minutes or as long as you need to.
05
When you are done, rest your hands on your lap and let your attention come back to the present moment.  

Video Option

Watch this video and follow along as Jessica guides you through the butterfly hug.  

Grounding Techniques - Butterfly Hug [CC] from Saprea on Vimeo.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Feelings of Shame 

Self-Compassion 

Challenging Cognitive Distortions 

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

#25
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Power of Play—Part 3 
Play can help you find joy in your everyday life right now, even when you feel that you are unworthy…
#26
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Body Kindness 
Survivors can more easily nurture a loving relationship with themselves through body kindness, which is reframing any feelings of judgment…
#27
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Everyday Aspiration
Applying Aspiration into small, everyday moments can empower you to celebrate your strengths, live with intention, cultivate self-compassion, and continue…

Practicing Boundaries 

Posted on May 3, 2023 - 4:36 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Practicing Boundaries 

#23 Practicing Boundaries [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#23

Practicing Boundaries 

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Practicing Boundaries 

While building healthy connections is a key part of healing, equally important is identifying, maintaining, and communicating your boundaries. Everything you embrace, initiate, and seek out to build connections can be done at your own pace and in a way that honors these boundaries.
Download this resource (PDF)

#23 Practicing Boundaries [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#23

Practicing Boundaries 

While building healthy connections is a key part of healing, equally important is identifying, maintaining, and communicating your boundaries. Everything you embrace, initiate, and seek out to build connections can be done at your own pace and in a way that honors these boundaries.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Practicing Boundaries

A boundary is a line or limit that separates what you’re okay with from what you’re not. It can be helpful to think back to the visual of the fence. Everything inside the fence is what you like and want to embrace in your life. Everything outside the fence is what you don’t like and don’t want to be part of your life. While rigid fencing can lead to isolation, weak fencing can lead to trespassing. The best kinds of fences have gates that allow flexibility in who can come in and go out to honor changing relationships, circumstances, and healing. A healthy boundary allows you to open the gate to new people, friendships, and support systems while still holding firm to the limits that will help you feel secure. For more examples of what rigid, weak, and healthy boundaries look like, you can refer to the chart below.

Those with Rigid Boundaries

  • Use boundaries to push people away.
  • Use boundaries to try controlling other people.
  • Are not open to hearing others’ viewpoints.
  • Are overprotective of personal information.
  • Aren’t willing to appropriately adapt boundaries to different contexts.
  • Say no to things simply because they are outside of their comfort zone.
  • Seem detached.
  • Believe their own boundaries are more important than others’ boundaries.

Those with Weak Boundaries

  • Don’t set boundaries for fear that others won’t approve.
  • Are controlled by other people’s behaviors and opinions.
  • Accept abuse or disrespect from others because they feel it’s what they deserve.
  • Overshare details of past trauma with others, even new acquaintances.
  • Feel it’s their job to fix everyone else’s problems.
  • Don’t say no to others, even when feeling uncomfortable or emotionally overwhelmed.
  • Believe others' boundaries are important but hesitate to establish their own.
  • Reinforce boundaries inconsistently or don’t reinforce boundaries at all.

Those with Healthy Boundaries

  • Stand up for personal values and don’t compromise out of fear or doubt.
  • Consistently communicate and reinforce boundaries.
  • Are firm, but not rigid, in reinforcing personal boundaries.
  • Respect their own boundaries and the boundaries of others.
  • Develop emotional closeness at a pace that is comfortable and best suits their healing journey.
  • Share personal information appropriately with others.
  • Willing to try new things as long as values aren’t compromised.
  • Place trust in those who have earned it.

Setting a healthy boundary generally involves:

  1. Identifying a relationship or situation in your life where you may have a boundary that is currently too weak or too rigid.
  2. Determining how you’d like to change that boundary into something healthier.
  3. Planning an action to communicate that change.
let's look at an example:

Over the past year you have been attending therapy and practicing strategies to help manage the trauma of child sexual abuse. Your partner is very supportive and has been doing all they can to help you along your healing journey and be the supporter you need.

However, over the past few months you have started refusing to go to any social engagements, family events, or work functions with your partner because you are worried about becoming triggered. Each time your partner asks if you’ll go with them to one of these social settings, you say no. While your partner has been patient and empathetic, you feel that your boundary may be too rigid and is putting a strain on the relationship. So you decide to adjust the boundary by laying out the details (see example to the side).

Now, it’s your turn!

Relationship:
Significant Other
Area:
Social
I
Ж
I
I
Rigid
Healthy
Weak
New Boundary:
While I am still hesitant to attend social gatherings because I’m scared of being triggered, I understand that it’s important for my partner that I make the effort to attend certain events, even if it’s just for a short amount of time.
Action:
Have a conversation with my partner to discuss my willingness to go to a select number of social events each month, as long as we have a backup plan in case I become triggered. For instance, before each event we can come up with an excuse to leave early if needed.

Activity steps

01
Think of a specific relationship in your life and write it down.  
02

Next, think about an area of the relationship (or of your life in general) that you’d like to focus on, and write that area down next to the relationship. Here are a few examples:

  • Physical
  • Intellectual
  • Emotional
  • Spiritual
  • Professional
  • Sexual
03
Draw a spectrum similar to the one in the example. Determine where on the spectrum you feel your boundary is regarding that relationship or situation.  
04
Next, write down a new, healthier boundary that you would like to set.  
05
And finally, write down one thing you can do or say to set that boundary.  
Note: This exercise may also help you recognize a healthy boundary that you already have in place and would like to continue maintaining or modeling other boundaries after. 
Relationship:
Area:
I
I
I
Rigid
Healthy
Weak
New Boundary:
Action:

Grounding Exercise

Paced Breathing

Think of your breath as an anchor that holds you to the present. Your breathing serves you right now, in this moment. You cannot take breaths for the past or for the future—only for your present needs.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
02
Rest a hand on your chest or stomach if it helps you feel calm.
03
Focus on the image of a breathing heart, one that swells with each inhale and compresses with each exhale.
04
Inhale through your nose, envisioning your heart expanding. Count four heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4.
05
Hold your breath, counting two heartbeats. 1, 2.
06
Exhale through your nose, envisioning your heart compressing. Count six heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. The key is to try making the exhale longer than the inhale to help calm the body.
07

Repeat this for 2­–5 minutes, or if you are using the exercise to help manage a trigger, repeat these steps as many times as necessary to feel grounded in the present moment. You may also choose to place both hands over your heart as you envision it expanding and contracting. As your heartbeats slow, your breathing will get deeper, continuing to calm you.

Video Option

Watch this guided breathing video, timing your breathing to the opening and closing of the lotus petals. Repeat for 2–5 minutes, or as long as needed.

Five Minute Guided Breathing Meditation 2023 from Saprea on Vimeo.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Navigating Your Relationships 

Assertive Communication 

Practicing Boundaries 

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

#24
Featured image for “Self-Compassion ”
Self-Compassion 
The antidote to shame is self-compassion, one of the most powerful tools we can use to reduce the effects of…
#25
Featured image for “Power of Play—Part 3 ”
Power of Play—Part 3 
Play can help you find joy in your everyday life right now, even when you feel that you are unworthy…
#26
Featured image for “Body Kindness ”
Body Kindness 
Survivors can more easily nurture a loving relationship with themselves through body kindness, which is reframing any feelings of judgment…

Assertive Communication 

Posted on May 3, 2023 - 3:33 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Assertive Communication 

#22 Assertive Communication [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#22

Assertive Communication 

Image

Assertive Communication 

Assertive communication is a valuable tool that helps us to take control of how we express ourselves—including our needs, wants, and boundaries—in a way that feels honest and authentic, while still respecting the other person.
Download this resource (PDF)

#22 Assertive Communication [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#22

Assertive Communication 

Assertive communication is a valuable tool that helps us to take control of how we express ourselves—including our needs, wants, and boundaries—in a way that feels honest and authentic, while still respecting the other person.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Practicing Assertive Communication

Assertive communication is the ability to honestly express your opinions, attitudes, and rights while also respecting the rights of others. This type of communication includes setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, being firm when needed, delivering messages clearly, and acting with respect, fairness, and empathy. It also allows you to acknowledge both your feelings and the feelings of others.

Sometimes this means acknowledging truths about your own behavior and taking ownership of your choices before you approach another person. Sometimes it means looking to change the way you interact with another person. Whatever the case may be, this activity can help you look at a specific situation with open eyes and honestly acknowledge your truth.

Activity steps

Think of a situation in your life where you want to communicate a concern or problem to another person. In your journal, write out possible statements you can make to express your concern using the steps below.
Your situation:
Your best friend has been running late more and more often.
1.
Ask if this is a good time.  
Is now a good time to talk?
2.

Use empathy and validation.
Listen and work to understand the other person's feelings or point of view.

It sounds like you have a pretty busy schedule, which can make it difficult to be on time.
3.

State your concern.
Describe your difficulty and tell why you need something to change. Use the “I feel” statements. 

I feel upset when you’re running late and don’t keep me in the loop. I then worry my time isn’t important to you.
4.

Identify what you want or what you’re willing to negotiate. 
Be specific with your requests. If you are looking for a specific behavior, circumstance, or situation, be sure to voice that. Speak specifically to the behavior rather than labelling the other person.  

I think I would feel less frustrated if you let me know when you are running behind.
5.

Give the other person a chance to respond.
 Listen and reflect on what the other person shares. Work on creatively solving the problem together.   

Maybe, in the future, you could text me if you think you’ll be more than ten minutes late. What do you think?
If time allows

Many survivors struggle with saying no to the people in their lives. You may have concerns that you’ll be perceived as rude or aggressive, that it makes you selfish, or that it might upset the other person and make them feel rejected. The most common reason survivors don’t say no is believing that others’ needs are more important than their own. When you practice assertive communication, you can say no when you need to and still feel respectful and respected.

1.

Think of a situation in your life where you need to say no. Go over this list of reminders to empower yourself to say it without guilt.

  • Other people have the right to ask, but I have the right to refuse.
  • When I say no, I am not rejecting that person, only their inquiry.
  • When I say no to one thing, that allows me to say yes to another.
  • When I say no, I’m being truthful and avoiding feelings of resentment towards the other person.
  • By honestly expressing my feelings, it makes it safe for others to do the same.
  • My needs are important, and it’s important for me to set healthy boundaries.
2.

Now that you have reviewed the list, create a statement using the steps of assertive communication you can use to say no. Once you have written your statement, practice saying it in your head or, if you feel comfortable, communicating it aloud by role playing with another participant.

Grounding Exercise

5-4-3-2-1

This simple exercise is an example of sensory grounding, which involves directing your attention toward one or more of your five senses.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable and focus on the setting around you. 
02
Name 5 things you can see. As you do so, label each one in your head. 
03
Name 4 things you can hear. 
04
Name 3 things you can feel. 
05
Name 2 things you can smell. 
06
Name 1 thing you can taste. Some people will carry oils or a mint so they have them ready should they need to ground using their senses.  
07
Finally, take a moment to notice any other details around you or sensations you might be experiencing in this moment. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to simply be. 

Video Option

Watch this video about everyday grounding techniques, focusing on the sensory experiences it may evoke.  

Everyday Activities from Saprea on Vimeo.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Navigating Your Relationships

Assertive Communication

Practicing Boundaries

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

#23
Featured image for “Practicing Boundaries ”
Practicing Boundaries 
While building healthy connections is a key part of healing, equally important is identifying, maintaining, and communicating your boundaries. Everything…
#24
Featured image for “Self-Compassion ”
Self-Compassion 
The antidote to shame is self-compassion, one of the most powerful tools we can use to reduce the effects of…
#25
Featured image for “Power of Play—Part 3 ”
Power of Play—Part 3 
Play can help you find joy in your everyday life right now, even when you feel that you are unworthy…

Creating Intentional Behaviors 

Posted on May 1, 2023 - 10:34 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Creating Intentional Behaviors 

#21 Creating Intentional Behaviors [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#21

Creating Intentional Behaviors 

Image

Creating Intentional Behaviors 

With consistent effort and intention, you can build new, healing pathways in your brain and expand your window of tolerance through repeated, conscious behaviors.
Download this resource (PDF)

#21 Creating Intentional Behaviors [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#21

Creating Intentional Behaviors 

With consistent effort and intention, you can build new, healing pathways in your brain and expand your window of tolerance through repeated, conscious behaviors.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.
Note: For Option 1 of this activity, the group leader will need to provide supplies to create collages, including magazines, poster boards, scissors, and glue sticks. Or, the group leader can modify this option to have participants brainstorm and write down ideas for a collage and/or browse the internet for images they can use for a digital collage. If meeting online, the group leader can invite participants to post images for their collage in the group chat.

Group Activity

Aspirational Thinking

Aspirational thinking is directing your thoughts toward the future with the belief that you can heal. With this shift in your focus, you can more easily make choices that reflect your hopes, dreams, and the future you want, rather than choices that are driven by fear or distress.

One way to begin practicing aspirational thinking is to set intentions. An intention centers on what you value in life and/or what you would like to work towards for your future. Intentions are independent of goals; they are lived each day and focus on the relationship we’ve fostered with ourselves. Goal-setting is about setting measurable steps, while intention-setting is about gazing inward to help us understand what we want for ourselves, in the present and in the future.

Setting intentions looks different for everyone. They can be set daily, weekly, or monthly. They can be written out as a sentence, phrase, or word. For one person, it might be writing in their planner: “I approach new situations with curiosity and an open mind.” For another, it’s the phrase “body kindness” on a sticky note beside the bathroom mirror. It may even be the word “explore” or “gratitude” or “nourishment” posted on a collage and surrounded by images that visualize your intentions.

How would you like to set and remind yourself of your intentions? As you’re thinking of ideas, below are a couple of activities to help you get started.

Activity steps

Option 1—Aspiration Collage 

An Aspiration collage is a collection of images that illustrate what you want your life to look like. This might include changes you’d like to make, areas of your life you want to focus on, or visual reminders of what you care about most. It might also include things that excite you, bring you joy, or foster feelings of hope and encouragement. Keep in mind that the mere existence of an Aspiration collage can’t alter your future. Rather, it serves as a visual expression of the intentions you’d like to set as well as the self-compassion required as you work towards those intentions.

01
Decide where you’d like to put your Aspiration collage.
Aspiration collages can be made in a variety of ways, like a bulletin board in your bedroom, a word splash in your journal, a folder on your desk at work, or even a desktop background on your computer. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s somewhere you’ll see on a consistent basis. Once you know the size and space you’ll be working with, it will make the next steps easier.  
02
Gather images.
Find images that embody your intentions, literally or figuratively. For this step, you can use the images provided by the group leader, or you can write down a list of images that you plan to look for later. You could also take this time to browse through images on your phone and bookmark any inspirations that stand out to you. Maybe you’d rather put together a digital collage, like a Pinterest board, that you can save and add to as often as you’d like.  
03
Put the images together.
Do you want your images to look like a collage with no white space? Do you want images that are all the same shape and size? Spend time organizing the images in a way that feels the most comfortable to you. Or, if you are in the brainstorming stage, write down some ideas of how you’d like your collage to look.  
04
Put the date on it.
If creating an Aspiration collage resonates with you, you may find yourself creating them more often. Putting the date, even just the month and year, on each will help you see how your intentions change, how you accomplish your goals, or the ways you grow over time.  
05
Display it once you are finished.
You started with an idea of where you wanted it. When you finish—either here during group or later at home— hang it up or put the file on your computer so that you can see it every day and remind yourself what your dreams and intentions are.  
Option 2—Future Self Meditation 
Another way to develop aspiration thinking is to imagine an interaction with your future self.  
01
Close your eyes or soften your gaze as you listen to Group Leader A read the following guided meditation aloud.  

Guided Meditation Script

Imagine you are in your favorite outdoor space. Perhaps it is a beach at sunset. Perhaps it is a secluded wood or a quiet garden.

Imagine yourself walking through this place and toward a dwelling. This is the dwelling of your future self—an older, wiser “you” who has fulfilled your hopes and dreams. As you walk up to the door of this dwelling to greet your future self, notice how old your wiser self is, how they are dressed, how they appear, and how they move as you walk with them.

Imagine yourself sitting and talking with your wiser self. Notice their presence, their energy, and how it affects you. Take some time to ask your wiser self how they came to be who they are; listen carefully to their answer. Ask what helped them most along the way. What did they have to let go of to become who they are? In what areas of their life did they foster new growth? What new behaviors and thought patterns did they cultivate?

Before you leave the dwelling, your future self offers you a gift. It’s a small box with a message of wisdom inside that can help you in this moment. You open the box and look inside. What does the message say?

02

After you’ve finished the visualization, reflect on the following questions:

  • What did you learn from your future self that can help you develop aspirational thinking right now?
  • What aspirational thoughts do you want to focus on now after interacting with your future self?
03

Write down your thoughts as a springboard for potential intentions you’d like to set.

Grounding Exercise

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are sentences you say to yourself to remind you of your value, how far you’ve come, and how capable you are of continuing your healing journey. They can serve as an anchor to this moment, as well as a tool to nurturing self-compassion.

So let's begin.

Activity Steps

01

Select an affirmation from this list or choose one of your own.

  • I am enough.
  • I am learning to love myself.
  • I choose happiness.
  • I am moving forward on my healing journey one choice at a time.
  • I have strength and power to take whatever comes my way.
  • I can do challenging things.
  • I am grateful for this day and the many possibilities it affords.
  • I deserve compassion, kindness, and understanding.
02
Repeat the affirmation in your mind as you inhale and exhale, envisioning the words as your anchor to the present.  
03
As your mind wanders, gently redirect it back to the affirmation, noting your drifting attention with patience and curiosity.  
04
Continue this exercise for 1–2 minutes. As you do so, you might choose a new affirmation to focus on or stick with the same one—whatever works best for you.  
05
When you are finished, allow yourself a few paced breaths, imagining feelings of warmth and compassion flowing through you.  

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Developing Aspirational Thinking

Creating Intentional Behaviors

Creative Expression

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

#22
Featured image for “Assertive Communication ”
Assertive Communication 
Assertive communication is a valuable tool that helps us to take control of how we express ourselves—including our needs, wants,…
#23
Featured image for “Practicing Boundaries ”
Practicing Boundaries 
While building healthy connections is a key part of healing, equally important is identifying, maintaining, and communicating your boundaries. Everything…
#24
Featured image for “Self-Compassion ”
Self-Compassion 
The antidote to shame is self-compassion, one of the most powerful tools we can use to reduce the effects of…

Practicing Aspiration 

Posted on April 29, 2023 - 6:42 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Practicing Aspiration 

#16 Practicing Aspiration [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#16

Practicing Aspiration 

Image

Practicing Aspiration 

Practicing Aspiration can help us identify thoughts that are rooted in shame and gently reframe those thoughts through a lens of kindness and self-compassion.
Download this resource (PDF)

#16 Practicing Aspiration [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#16

Practicing Aspiration 

Practicing Aspiration can help us identify thoughts that are rooted in shame and gently reframe those thoughts through a lens of kindness and self-compassion.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Challenging Cognitive Distortions

Note to Group Leader: If you are short on time and would like to modify this activity, you can invite participants to select one of the Challenge Questions to answer during the “Explore” section.

Part of Aspiration is directing our thoughts towards healing. This may seem difficult at times, especially when our thoughts take mental shortcuts that reflect—and fuel—certain beliefs about ourselves.

Everyone’s thought processes take mental shortcuts from time to time. For example, you may predict the length of your commute based on what traffic was like yesterday. Sometimes, however, these shortcuts are unhelpful and do not reflect reality. A cognitive distortion is a mental shortcut our minds take that is rooted in feelings of shame, judgment, or self-blame. Such shame-based shortcuts are especially common among survivors of child sexual abuse. Cognitive distortions (sometimes referred to as “thinking errors”) often reinforce the shame that we are already feeling, rather than providing a different, more compassionate perspective.

An example of a shame-based shortcut might be:
Situation: You have a headache.
Thought: “I am so incapable of coping with life that even the smallest things give me a headache. I shouldn’t even try to function as an adult.”

Cognitive Distortions Commonly Experienced by Child Sexual Abuse Survivors 

Recognizing the mental shortcuts you take can help you evaluate if they are helpful or not. Here are five types of cognitive distortions that survivors of child sexual abuse commonly experience.

Thinking in Extremes

This includes seeing things in black-and-white terms, with no in between, as well as exaggerating our idea of what is happening.
  • “It’s impossible for me to connect with anyone.”
  • “I’m always alone, and I never get to do things with friends.”

Stuck in a Single Event

Taking one instance and expecting all current and future situations to be similar to that single instance.  
  • “It was really difficult to share my story, and the person I just disclosed my abuse to responded cruelly. I shouldn’t tell anyone about my abuse because they will have the same reaction.”

Filtering Out the Positive 

Acknowledging positive experiences but then rejecting them as meaningless or exceptional. 
  • “I didn’t experience any setbacks today, but that’s probably just a fluke.”
  • “I received good feedback on my project, but it’s only because they didn’t read it closely enough to see all my mistakes.”

Jumping to Conclusions

Making assumptions about the future or about what other people are thinking based on your current emotions, past experiences, or small bits of information.  
  • “My friend hasn’t been supportive in the past, so she probably won’t be supportive in the future.”
  • “Others see me as damaged.”

Making It Personal

Assigning blame to yourself or assuming the situation hinges on your actions rather than other circumstances.  
  • “She seemed upset. It must be something I said.”
  • “They changed that policy. It was probably because I was late two months ago.”

Activity steps

This activity will provide a sample script with an example of an unhelpful thought, challenging questions that can help you analyze it, and possible answers to those questions. Work to come up with instances of cognitive distortions from your own life, using the example as your guide.

01
Identify

In your journal, write down any unhelpful thoughts you may be experiencing.

Thought:
I’ll never be able to trust anyone.
Identify the cognitive distortion:
Thinking in extremes, jumping to conclusions
02
Explore

Examine those thoughts through a list of questions to determine whether those thoughts are helpful or unhelpful.

Challenge Questions:

Q. Do I know for certain that this is true?
A.
I’m not 100% certain that I’ll never be able to trust someone.
Q. Am I certain of the consequences or results?
A.
Not 100%, no. I’m not 100% certain of most things.
Q. What evidence supports this fear or belief?
A.
I’ve been hurt, betrayed, and abused in the past. People are capable of terrible things. I just can’t be entirely sure that someone won’t try to hurt me again.
Q. What evidence contradicts this fear or belief?
A.
There are a couple people in my life who have generally been there when I needed them. They have said before that they care about me, and their actions show it.
Q. Is it possible the opposite could happen? What would be the outcome? 
A.
I could decide to trust someone, and they don’t treat me the way I’ve been treated in the past. We could build a healthy, strong relationship that supports us both.
Q. Is my negative prediction driven by the intense emotions I’m experiencing?
A.
Probably. I’m currently feeling anxiety, fear, and distrust—and annoyance at my anxiety, fear, and distrust.
Q. What is the worst possible thing that could happen? What could I do to cope if it did?
A.
I decide to trust someone, and they let me down. It would be painful, even heartbreaking. I would probably cry a lot, talk to my therapist, and write about it in my journal before burning the pages. I could probably get through it though. I have before.
Q. If someone I cared about had this problem, what would I tell them?
A.
I’d probably tell them that they deserve to have healthy relationships and feel close to others. I’d tell them that if they’re really that anxious, they can take their relationships slow, at a pace that’s comfortable for them. I would also tell them to be patient with themselves and remember to take care of themselves first.

Grounding Exercise

Paced Breathing

Think of your breath as an anchor that holds you to the present. Your breathing serves you right now, in this moment. You cannot take breaths for the past or for the future—only for your present needs.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
02
Rest a hand on your chest or stomach if it helps you feel calm.
03
Focus on the image of a breathing heart, one that swells with each inhale and compresses with each exhale.
04
Inhale through your nose, envisioning your heart expanding. Count four heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4.
05
Hold your breath, counting two heartbeats. 1, 2.
06
Exhale through your nose, envisioning your heart compressing. Count six heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. The key is to try making the exhale longer than the inhale to help calm the body.
07
Repeat this for 2­–5 minutes, or if you are using the exercise to help manage a trigger, repeat these steps as many times as necessary to feel grounded in the present moment. You may also choose to place both hands over your heart as you envision it expanding and contracting. As your heartbeats slow, your breathing will get deeper, continuing to calm you.

Video Option

Watch this guided breathing video, timing your breathing to the opening and closing of the lotus petals. Repeat for 2–5 minutes, or as long as needed.

Five Minute Guided Breathing Meditation 2023 from Saprea on Vimeo.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Aspiration and Its Role in Healing from Child Sexual Abuse

Developing Aspirational Thinking

Challenging Cognitive Distortions

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Identifying Shame 

Posted on April 29, 2023 - 5:37 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Identifying Shame 

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Identifying Shame 

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Identifying Shame 

A helpful first step in managing shame is learning to identify when it influences different areas of our lives, such as how we think and feel about ourselves, how we interact with others, and how we cope during times of stress.
Download this resource (PDF)

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#15

Identifying Shame 

A helpful first step in managing shame is learning to identify when it influences different areas of our lives, such as how we think and feel about ourselves, how we interact with others, and how we cope during times of stress.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Identifying Shame 

As discussed in the video, when we have a better understanding of what shame can look like, feel like, and sound like, we can more easily identify how we experience it in our own lives. This awareness can help us to not only recognize when a certain thought, emotion, action, or physical sensation is tied to shame, but also how to apply healing tools, like Mindfulness and self-compassion, to help counteract that shame. In other words, when we are able to “name it” we can more easily “tame it.”

It may also be helpful to note that just as our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations are interconnected (oftentimes in ways we aren’t even aware of), so too is shame’s effects in the different areas of our lives. For example, a thought rooted in shame, such as “I don’t deserve to heal” may contribute to (or coincide with) feelings of despair, a physical sense of heaviness, and/or the decision to isolate from others. This activity is designed to help you identify the different ways you may experience shame so that you can better name it and challenge it in the future.

Activity steps

01
Draw the following chart onto a piece of paper. Take a few minutes to fill out the chart by answering each question.
What is a thought I have that might be rooted in shame? 
I thought I was unworthy.
Emotions
When I have this thought, what emotion(s) do I feel?
I felt threatened and anxious.
Body
When I have this thought, what physical sensations do I experience?
I felt a tightness in my chest and a heaviness in the rest of my body.
Behavior
When I have this thought, what do I do? 
I lay in bed and scroll through social media for a long time, sometimes hours.
Relationships
When I have this thought, how do I view and interact with others? 
I feel I need to hide.
02
After completing the chart, take a moment to reflect on your answers. Are there any other ways that the thought you wrote down may impact the different areas of your life? 
03
Next, create in your mind a kind and loving inner companion. Perhaps you want to use the same inner companion you selected during the “Fostering Self-Kindness” activity from Group Meeting 4.
04
Explore what your inner companion would say to you while you were experiencing the thought from your chart. What words of comfort and understanding would they offer? How would their response impact your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and actions?  
05
Remind yourself that as you continue identifying the ways in which you experience shame, you can more easily counteract that shame by looking at it through a more compassionate lens. We’ll look at more ways that you can challenge thoughts like the one you wrote down today at our next group meeting.    

Grounding Exercise

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are sentences you say to yourself to remind you of your value, how far you’ve come, and how capable you are of continuing your healing journey. They can serve as an anchor to this moment, as well as a tool to nurturing self-compassion.

So let's begin.

Activity Steps

01

Select an affirmation from this list or choose one of your own.

  • I am enough.
  • I am learning to love myself.
  • I choose happiness.
  • I am moving forward on my healing journey one choice at a time.
  • I have strength and power to take whatever comes my way.
  • I can do challenging things.
  • I am grateful for this day and the many possibilities it affords.
  • I deserve compassion, kindness, and understanding.
02
Repeat the affirmation in your mind as you inhale and exhale, envisioning the words as your anchor to the present.  
03
As your mind wanders, gently redirect it back to the affirmation, noting your drifting attention with patience and curiosity.  
04
Continue this exercise for 1–2 minutes. As you do so, you might choose a new affirmation to focus on or stick with the same one—whatever works best for you.  
05
When you are finished, allow yourself a few paced breaths, imagining feelings of warmth and compassion flowing through you.  

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Shame and Child Sexual Abuse

Feelings of Shame

Self-Compassion

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Practicing Acknowledgement 

Posted on April 29, 2023 - 4:14 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Practicing Acknowledgement 

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Practicing Acknowledgement 

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Practicing Acknowledgement 

The essence of Acknowledgement is being honest with yourself about where you have been and where you are today, and doing so in a way that is nonjudgmental and compassionate.
Download this resource (PDF)

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#14

Practicing Acknowledgement 

The essence of Acknowledgement is being honest with yourself about where you have been and where you are today, and doing so in a way that is nonjudgmental and compassionate.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Creative Expression

For many survivors, creative expression may feel like the safest and purest way to acknowledge and communicate certain emotions, thoughts, and experiences. For others, this will be new territory and may bring up feelings of inadequacy. Either way, allowing yourself the freedom to creatively explore or express what you are feeling can be intensely rewarding.

You may want to use creative expression to acknowledge or move through certain emotions, like anger or disappointment. Or you may feel a need to create something that celebrates your strength, resilience, and the victories you’ve experienced on your healing journey so far. Whatever you choose to creatively express, remember there is no need for judgment or criticism. There is only what you are feeling and what you’d like to use your creativity to accomplish. While the possibilities are endless, below is a list of potential ways to creatively express your own experience. Whether you are trying something from this list or are inspired by your own ideas, give yourself the opportunity to embrace whatever feels helpful or expressive.

Activity

Explore ways to engage in creative expression through one or more of the following options: 

Note: For some of these options, the group leader will need to provide additional art supplies. If art supplies are not available, participants can explore Options 1, 3, 5, and 6. They could also modify Option 2 to focus specifically on drawing.

  • Write
    Words can be a powerful way to explore and express your healing. Consider writing a poem or a series of poems that capture your healing journey. Or, simply find a paper or notepad and begin writing whatever comes to mind. You may decide to keep your writing, or you may find it therapeutic to tear it up or burn it later. You may want to keep your writing to yourself, or you may find empowerment in sharing it with others. There is no right or wrong way to write; use writing in a way that is helpful to you.

  • Paint or Draw
    For some, emotions and experiences may be difficult to capture in words. Perhaps creating something visual would feel more engaging. Think about creating a painting or drawing to express your healing journey. You could create an image with recognizable elements or maybe you want to create something abstract that expresses your feelings in shapes and colors.

  • Take Photographs
    If painting or drawing feels intimidating, maybe you’d like to take a series of photographs to represent your healing journey. Our phones have made it easy to instantaneously capture images. If the setting allows, you could explore the venue and/or go on a mindful walk and consciously look for things to photograph that express your feelings.

  • Make an Art Journal
    Art journaling can be a great way to collect meaningful words and images. There are many examples of art journals online, and the possibilities are endless. Ideally, you’d have a notebook that is just for art journaling, and a collection of pens, images, glue, washi tape, stickers, or anything else you might want to use in your journal. Some survivors find it helpful to expressively write on the pages and then cover the writing with images and words that represent their healing or emotions. You may choose to art journal daily, or whenever you feel inspired. Be creative and let this journal be what you want it to be.

  • Engage with Music
    Music can be the perfect tool to explore thoughts, insights, and feelings that are difficult to express. There are a variety of ways you could use music. Maybe you’d like to write new lyrics for a song that already exists. Or perhaps you’d like to write an original piece of music either with or without words. You could also put in your earbuds (to make it easier for the other participants to focus on their creative expressions) and create a playlist that includes songs that represent your healing journey and the different emotions you experience. You can listen to this playlist to inspire you to focus on healing, to embrace or move through a specific emotion, or to celebrate your strength.

  • Dance
    For survivors of child sexual abuse, there is great power in connecting with your body. Consider choreographing a dance to represent your healing journey or putting on a triumphant song and spontaneously moving as a way to connect with both your body and your emotions.

  • Craft with Paper, Fabric, or Wood
    Many survivors take up a hobby to help them practice Mindfulness. Hobbies can also be a great way to form connections with others. For example, paper crafting (like scrapbooking or card-making) can be a fun way to create things that become keepsakes or gifts and can easily be done in groups. Paper quilling is also a beautiful art form, and the attentiveness needed as you roll the paper can be an excellent opportunity to practice Mindfulness. Embroidery, cross-stitch, knitting, and crocheting can also provide opportunities to connect with others and/or practice Mindfulness. Wood provides similar potential with painting, woodburning, carving, etc. The key is to find something you enjoy and to allow it to help you explore your feelings and express your experiences.

Grounding Exercise

5-4-3-2-1

This simple exercise is an example of sensory grounding, which involves directing your attention toward one or more of your five senses.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable and focus on the setting around you. 
02
Name 5 things you can see. As you do so, label each one in your head. 
03
Name 4 things you can hear. 
04
Name 3 things you can feel. 
05
Name 2 things you can smell. 
06
Name 1 thing you can taste. Some people will carry oils or a mint so they have them ready should they need to ground using their senses.  
07
Finally, take a moment to notice any other details around you or sensations you might be experiencing in this moment. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to simply be. 

Video Option

Watch this video about everyday grounding techniques, focusing on the sensory experiences it may evoke.  

Everyday Activities from Saprea on Vimeo.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Acknowledgement and Its Role in Healing from Child Sexual Abuse

Creative Expression

Emotion Wheel

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Coping Skills—Part 2 

Posted on April 29, 2023 - 3:58 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Coping Skills—Part 2 

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Coping Skills—Part 2 

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Coping Skills—Part 2 

As you direct your thoughts and actions towards healing, it can be helpful to identify which coping strategies you’d like to continue and which coping strategies you may want to adjust or move away from.
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#13

Coping Skills—Part 2 

As you direct your thoughts and actions towards healing, it can be helpful to identify which coping strategies you’d like to continue and which coping strategies you may want to adjust or move away from.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Reflecting on Your Coping Strategies

An important step in healing from trauma is looking at the ways we cope with day-to-day challenges and asking ourselves if those coping strategies are more helpful or more harmful to our well-being in the long run. This activity provides you with more time to consider some of your current coping strategies by answering the questions presented in the video.

As you reflect on these questions, try to view your answers through a lens of compassion, curiosity, and non-judgment, reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can with the tools, experiences, and support you have. Remember that you are not judging or criticizing yourself for whatever coping strategies you’ve employed during times of distress. Rather, you are applying Acknowledgement by compassionately recognizing the coping strategies in your life that are beneficial to your healing as well as the coping strategies in your life that may no longer be needed (and are perhaps even creating further stress and disruption).

Activity steps

01
Write down a go-to habit or activity that you use during times when you feel pushed toward the edge or outside of your window of tolerance.  
02

Next, take a few minutes to reflect on this habit or activity by answering the following questions:

  • Does this cause me additional stress?
  • Do I feel better after engaging in this activity?
  • Does it help in the short-term but not in the long-term?
  • Is it disruptive to my daily activities?
  • Do I base decisions around being able to do this activity?
  • Does it affect my relationships in a negative way?
Note: Some of your answers to these questions might be more mixed or neutral, and that’s okay.
03
After answering these questions, review your responses as you consider the overall question: Is this a coping strategy that is more helpful or more harmful to my long-term healing? Or, put another way: Is this coping strategy helping me to progress in my healing or is it getting in the way?  
04
Finally, if the coping strategy you just reviewed is one that you may want to adjust or replace, brainstorm some ideas of a coping strategy that may be more helpful to you in the long-term. If you can’t think of anything right now, that’s okay. The important thing is that you reflected on a current coping strategy with honesty and compassion. You’ll have more opportunities in upcoming meetings to think about what tools and strategies you’d like to incorporate into your life.   
05
If time allows, repeat these steps to reflect on another coping strategy that you’re wondering about.  

Grounding Exercise

Self-Kindness Meditation

This exercise can help us not only ground to the present but offer ourselves warmth, comfort, and compassion. 

Activity Steps 

01
Place both hands over your heart and take a moment to feel the warmth of your touch.
Notice your breathing as it is. There is no need to change or deepen it. 
02
As you breathe in, imagine a sense of calm and gratitude flowing through your body and towards your heart.
As you breathe out, imagine any tension or stress leaving your body. It may also be helpful to focus on the image of a breathing heart.
03
Next, envision a moment when you were with someone who made you feel loved and safe.
This moment may be an actual memory with a loved one, trusted friend, neighbor, therapist, or mentor. You could also think of a moment spent with a beloved pet. Or, rather than drawing from a memory, you can envision a hypothetical scenario with an older, wiser version of yourself, or with a well-known figure you admire and whose work has brought you inspiration and comfort.
04
Think about the feelings of acceptance, safety, and love you experience when focusing on that person.
Take a moment to allow these feelings to spread throughout your body.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Acknowledgement and Its Role in Healing from Child Sexual Abuse

Self-Compassion

Creating Intentional Behaviors

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Power of Play—Part 1 

Posted on April 28, 2023 - 8:25 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Power of Play—Part 1 

#12 Power of Play Part 1 [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#12

Power of Play—Part 1 

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Power of Play—Part 1 

Play is a basic human need that can benefit your healing journey by giving you opportunities to practice Mindfulness, connect with others, be creative, and experience feelings of awe and joy.
Download this resource (PDF)

#12 Power of Play Part 1 [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#12

Power of Play—Part 1 

Play is a basic human need that can benefit your healing journey by giving you opportunities to practice Mindfulness, connect with others, be creative, and experience feelings of awe and joy.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Exploring Play

Below are some ideas of ways you can explore play as a group, whether you're in-person or online. Feel free to pick 1-2 options that will work best for the group’s setting, preferences, and interests.

Person, Place, or Thing

In-person or online
Image
Image
Activity steps
01

Have a volunteer think of a common noun—such as a person, place, or thing—without saying it out loud. (You could also ask the group if they would rather play a variation of this game, such as “Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral” or if they want to pick a specific category, such as the name of a TV show or a brand of breakfast cereal.)

02
Next, invite the other players to guess which noun the volunteer is thinking about by asking them questions (“Is it something you can eat?” “Is it a place you can visit all year round?”). Set a certain limit of questions based on the size of your group. For example, if your group is smaller, you may want to allow each participant more questions to ask. Or perhaps you’d rather set a timer and see if one of the participants can guess the correct answer before the time is up.
03
Whoever guesses what noun the volunteer is thinking of within the allotted questions or before time is up gets to go next.

What Am I?

In-person
Image
This is a variation of the activity "Person, Place, or Thing" from above.
Activity steps
01
Divide the group into pairs and give them a pile of sticky notes that each have a word written on them. Like before, you and your group can determine what category of nouns you’d like to use during the game.
02
For each pairing, both participants will place one of the sticky notes on their foreheads without looking at the word written on it.  
03
Participants will then take turns guessing what word is written on their sticky note by asking their partner a set of questions. (“Am I found in the kitchen?” “Am I smaller than a cellphone?”) 
04
You can wrap up the game when the timer goes off or after each pairing has finished guessing their assigned sticky notes.  

What Happens Next?

In-person or online
Image
Image

Your group can spontaneously craft together an original story by taking turns filling in the blanks.

Activity steps
01
Ask one of the participants to be the narrator. Next, assign an order in which the group will rotate through their turns as the story progresses.
02
Begin the activity by having the narrator start reading the story below and then pausing when they reach the first blank.  
03
Whoever is first in the rotation will fill in the blank with their own answer. Encourage participants to be as silly, random, and spontaneous as they wish.  
04
Once the first participant finishes filling in the blank, the narrator will continue reading the story until they reach the next blank. Then, have the next participant fill in the gap to keep the story going.  
05
Continue this until the story ends. Feel free to start the story over again until every participant has had a turn to fill in a blank. You may be surprised by how wildly different each version of the story will turn out to be!  
Story
Life was going great until one day ______________________. To help me figure out what to do next, I decided to call upon ______________________ for advice. They offered two suggestions. One was absolutely ridiculous, which was to ______________________. I decided to be sensible and follow the second piece of advice, which was to ______________________. Things were going better until, out of the blue, ______________________. This reminded of that one time when ______________________. But this was different, because it was ______________________. In a perfect world, I would call upon the services of ______________________ because they are an absolute expert in solving this kind of problem. But today, I had to settle for ______________________ instead.

Play a Game of Charades or Pictionary

In-person or online

Image
Image
If the setting and resources allow, try playing a game of charades or Pictionary, with a volunteer choosing to draw or act out a specific word that their partner, team, or the rest of the group has to guess. If the group is meeting online, you can modify the game so that the volunteer acts out their word using facial expressions and hand gestures, or draws on a piece of paper and then holds the paper up to the screen for the rest of the group to see.   

Beach Ball Toss

In-person
Image
Note: For this option, the group leader will need to bring a beach ball or another item that would be easy to toss.
Toss one or more beach balls around the room. Every time a participant catches a ball, have them call out the name of an animal (or any category of your group’s choosing) before tossing the ball to someone else. This activity is a great way to incorporate rhythm, movement, and play, as well as strengthen the connection between the brain and body.     

Play a Go-To Classic

In-person 
Image
Note: For this option, the group leader will need to bring in whatever games they think would be fun for participants to play.
Activity steps
01

Set up a couple of easy-to-play games around the room. Some suggestions include:

  • Jenga
  • Pick-up Sticks
  • Tic-tac-toe
  • Barrel of Monkeys
  • Spot the Difference pictures
  • Jigsaw Puzzle
  • Slap Jack
  • Bop It
  • Catch Phrase
02
Next, divide the group into pairs and have each pair go to a different station to play one of the games. (Or, if your meeting is small enough, you can rotate through the different stations together as a group.)  
03
After pairs are given a few minutes to play the game at their station, have them rotate to a different station to play a new game.  
04
Continue this rotation until everyone has had a chance to play each game, or until the activity’s time is up.   
05
Afterwards, ask which games the participants enjoyed playing the most. Consider bringing those favorites back for the next Power of Play group meeting.  

Grounding Exercise

Stomp and Clap

This activity utilizes elements of rhythm, play, and movement to help anchor your attention to the present.

Activity Steps

01

Group Leader A begins by performing a simple stomp-clap combination.

  • Example: Stomp, clap, stomp, stomp.
02

The rest of the group will then repeat the same stomp-clap combination in unison.

03
Repeat this back-and-forth dynamic between Group Leader A and the other participants a few times, allowing the group to fall into a natural call-and-response rhythm. 
04
Next, Group Leader B will start a new stomp-clap combination for the rest of the group to follow.  
05
Repeat the same call-and-response rhythm from steps 2 and 3.   
06
Continue the activity for as long as you’d like, allowing other participants the chance to lead the group with their own stomp-clap combinations.   

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Movement

Creative Expression

Mindfulness and Its Role in Healing from Child Sexual Abuse

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Healthy Connections

Posted on April 27, 2023 - 10:48 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Healthy Connections

#11 Healthy Connections [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#11

Healthy Connections

Image

Healthy Connections

Building healthy relationships and connections with others is central to healing from the trauma of child sexual abuse. These connections make it easier to give and receive emotional support, trust, and compassion.
Download this resource (PDF)

#11 Healthy Connections [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#11

Healthy Connections

Building healthy relationships and connections with others is central to healing from the trauma of child sexual abuse. These connections make it easier to give and receive emotional support, trust, and compassion.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

New Ways to Connect

One of the ways we can build healthy connections is to say yes to new opportunities. This might seem difficult, especially when the brain jumps to negative thoughts about anything that sounds new or unfamiliar. However, saying yes to new opportunities, finding similarities where before you saw only differences, and letting go of judgment can break down barriers to connection.

This activity, much like the “Planning Ahead” activity from Group Meeting 6, provides the opportunity for strengthening the frontal lobe through intentional brainstorming, planning, and tracking. Looking at it from this angle, you are not only working to build new connections with others, but you are also building new neural connections in your brain.

Activity steps

01

Refer to the list below for ideas of new opportunities to foster connections with others. Take a minute to read through this list and note which opportunities sound interesting to you. You may initially want to dismiss certain options because they feel outside of your comfort zone. However, it may be helpful to consider possible benefits to these options that you may not have thought of right away.

02

Next, write down a couple of opportunities that you might be willing to try based on your preferences, needs, interests, and environment. These could be ideas on the list or other ideas that you’ve come up with.

03

After you’ve written down a couple of opportunities, select one of the opportunities and brainstorm a possible next step you could take to explore that opportunity. Perhaps this involves checking the website of a nearby community center, browsing a few local Facebook groups, or seeing where the nearest dog park is—whatever seems most interesting or accessible to you, based on where you are at right now in your healing journey.

Fostering Connections
  • Participate in a support group like this.
  • Engage with a church community.
  • Join a study group.
  • Start or join a Saprea Support Group
  • Take a community education class.
  • Volunteer (animal shelter, hospital, school, after-school program, nonprofit, etc.).
  • Reach out to old friends.
  • Reach out to supportive family members.
  • Participate in individual therapy.
  • Join a therapy group.
  • Connect with coworkers.
  • Be vulnerable with friends.
  • Check out a meet-up group.
  • Attend a class about a shared hobby.
  • Join a sports team.
  • Join a book club.
  • Regularly attend a gym class.
  • Join a walking/hiking group.
  • Take a cooking class.
  • Attend an addiction support group.
  • Join a choir or dance group.
  • Go to the dog park regularly.
  • Meet your neighbors.
  • Research your family/community heritage.
  • Become a "regular" at a local restaurant.
  • Help with a community project/initiative.

Grounding Exercise

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is based on the practice of intentionally contracting and relaxing the different muscle groups of the body. Not only does this exercise help reduce stress, anxiety, and muscle tension, but it can help draw your attention to the different parts of your body and all the ways it serves you.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

  • Settle into a comfortable position, sitting or lying down.
  • Soften your gaze or close your eyes.
  • Point the toes of your right foot toward your face and then away. Tense the thigh and calf muscles of your right leg.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Point the toes of your left foot toward your face and then away. Tense the thigh and calf muscles of your left leg.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Tense both legs.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Squeeze your right hand into a fist, tense your right arm, and bring your forearm toward your body.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Squeeze your left hand into a first, tense your left arm, and bring your forearm toward your body.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Squeeze both hands into fists, tense both arms, and bring your forearms towards your body.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Raise both shoulders.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Select another muscle or muscle group of your choosing.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • If you are able, tense your entire body.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • After you have finished tensing and relaxing, take a moment to notice what your body feels like. Think back to a specific part of the body you tensed and relaxed and note how that muscle or muscle group has helped you today. (For example, “My calves helped me get up the stairs this morning.”)

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Building Your Support Network

Assertive Communication

Navigating Your Relationships

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

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