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Understanding Shame

Posted on April 20, 2023 - 9:13 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Understanding Shame

#04 Understanding Shame [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#04

Understanding Shame

Image

Understanding Shame

Survivors of child sexual abuse often experience persistent and intense feelings of shame, despite the truth that you did nothing to warrant that shame.
Download this resource (PDF)

#04 Understanding Shame [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#04

Understanding Shame

Survivors of child sexual abuse often experience persistent and intense feelings of shame, despite the truth that you did nothing to warrant that shame.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Fostering Self-Kindness

It’s often easier to show compassion towards others than towards ourselves. This is why a great place to start with self-compassion is to treat ourselves with the same kindness we would treat a friend. For example, think of a time when you’ve had a friend who was struggling in some way. Maybe they had a misfortune, failed at something, or felt inadequate. Reflect on the following questions:

  • How did I respond?
  • What did I say?
  • What tone did I use?
  • What were my posture and nonverbal gestures?
  • What emotions did I feel?
Now, think of a time when you were struggling in some way. Consider the same questions as listed above. What are differences between how you responded to a friend versus how you responded to yourself? Fostering self-kindness helps to close the gap between those differences. It involves teaching yourself that the warmth, sympathy, and kindness you granted your friend is the type of compassion you deserve to feel towards yourself. The activity below can help you get started.

Activity steps

01
Think of a time when you were struggling with feelings of inadequacy or shame.
What thoughts did you experience during this time? Were any of those thoughts connected to shame? (“I am annoying to be around,” “I am destined to be alone,” “I am incapable of success.”) What emotions accompanied these thoughts? Sadness? Embarrassment? Frustration? What physical changes did you notice? Shortness of breath? A tightness in the chest? A rush of heat to your face?
02
Think of an inner companion who is kind and loving.
This companion is one who offers you empathy and understanding and shares words of comfort and encouragement. Your inner companion might be based on someone you know such as a friend who showed you compassion in the past. Or your inner companion could be a public or historical figure or perhaps a character from your favorite book or show. You might also consider basing your inner companion on something that invokes feelings of peace and joy—perhaps words, a presence, an image, a figure, or a belief. Whatever you choose, take some time to create a kind and loving companion who is always with you.
03
Consider what your inner companion would say to you during your moment of suffering.
Similar to how you showed compassion to your friend when they were struggling with something, your inner companion shows empathy and encouragement to you when you feel the pain that comes with experiencing shame. Rather than viewing your struggles with criticism and condemnation, your companion sees you as you are: a human being who has endured hardships and is doing the best they can. They may offer words of encouragement such as “You are doing your best,” “You are doing enough,” “You have been through a lot,” and “It’s okay to feel this way.” Perhaps their words are similar to the phrases you expressed to your friend during their time of need.
Disclaimer: You may not feel that you are in the headspace to see things through your inner companion’s lens or to explore what they would say to you when you are feeling shame. If that is the case, don’t worry. Instead, continue referring to words of encouragement you would share with a friend who is suffering.
04
Write down the phrases your inner companion would say to you and keep them someplace safe.
When you notice shame influencing your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, or behaviors, you can reflect on these phrases to help remind you about self-kindness. Perhaps you prefer to say these words of encouragement out loud, or maybe you’d rather repeat them in your mind. Each time you reaffirm the kind and loving phrases of your inner companion, you are moving closer towards feelings of self-compassion and away from shame, self-blame, and judgment.

Grounding Exercise

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are sentences you say to yourself to remind you of your value, how far you’ve come, and how capable you are of continuing your healing journey. They can serve as an anchor to this moment, as well as a tool to nurturing self-compassion.

So let's begin.

Activity Steps

01

Select an affirmation from this list or choose one of your own.

  • I am enough.
  • I am learning to love myself.
  • I choose happiness.
  • I am moving forward on my healing journey one choice at a time.
  • I have strength and power to take whatever comes my way.
  • I can do challenging things.
  • I am grateful for this day and the many possibilities it affords.
  • I deserve compassion, kindness, and understanding.
02
Repeat the affirmation in your mind as you inhale and exhale, envisioning the words as your anchor to the present.  
03
As your mind wanders, gently redirect it back to the affirmation, noting your drifting attention with patience and curiosity.  
04
Continue this exercise for 1–2 minutes. As you do so, you might choose a new affirmation to focus on or stick with the same one—whatever works best for you.  
05
When you are finished, allow yourself a few paced breaths, imagining feelings of warmth and compassion flowing through you.  

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Shame and Child Sexual Abuse

Self-Compassion

Challenging Cognitive Distortions

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

#05
Featured image for “Introducing Mindfulness”
Introducing Mindfulness
Healing from child sexual abuse involves the practice of Mindfulness, which is purposefully paying attention with kindness and curiosity to…
#06
Featured image for “Neuroplasticity and Healing”
Neuroplasticity and Healing
Whatever trauma you’ve endured as a survivor, healing is possible due to your brain’s incredible ability to adapt and create…
#07
Featured image for “Understanding Dissociation ”
Understanding Dissociation 
One of the most common ways a survivor’s brain and body tries to protect them is through dissociation, a coping…

Understanding the Limbic System

Posted on April 19, 2023 - 8:08 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Understanding the Limbic System

#03 Understanding the Limbic System [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#03

Understanding the Limbic System

Image

Understanding the Limbic System

Part of understanding trauma’s impact on the brain is learning about the limbic system and its drive to protect us from danger, even when no actual threat is present.
Download this resource (PDF)

#03 Understanding the Limbic System [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#03

Understanding the Limbic System

Part of understanding trauma’s impact on the brain is learning about the limbic system and its drive to protect us from danger, even when no actual threat is present.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Grounding to the present

When you practice grounding, you are learning to anchor yourself to the present moment. This allows you to be more in tune with what you’re feeling and experiencing now. By doing this, you can be aware of what you need in this moment—whether that’s calming your body breathing, soothing racing thoughts about the past or future, or reminding your limbic system that you are in a safe place. One technique that can help you connect (or anchor) to the present is actively focusing on details that let you know you aren’t a child trapped in an abusive situation from the past but an adult who is safe and practicing healing tools in the present. 

Activity steps

Part 1—Anchor with Questions
01
Take a minute to go through the following list of questions. State the answer to each question in your head.
  • Where am I right now?
  • What’s the time, day of the week, and date?
  • What temperature does it feel like?
  • What am I doing right now? (“I’m sitting in a support group . . .” or “I’m practicing a grounding technique”)
  • What am I feeling in my body right now? Focus on each sensation.
  • What is a color I can see right now? What else around me is that same color?
  • What is an object I can see right now? What details do I notice about that object? (shape, texture, size)
02
After you’ve answered each of these questions, consider which question(s) you want to try out the next time you are practicing Mindfulness or are experiencing a trigger. Write that question down on something you can carry with you.
Part 2—Anchor with Safe Touch 
01
Hold up one hand and splay the fingers.
02
Trace upwards along the thumb of this hand as you inhale.
03
Pause your tracing at the top of the thumb. Hold for a couple of seconds.
04
Trace downwards along your thumb as you release your breath, making sure your exhale is longer than your inhale.
05
Repeat these steps as you trace the rest of your fingers, timing your breath as you trace upwards then downwards.
06
After you have finished tracing your fingers, allow yourself a moment to take a couple more paced breaths.

Grounding Exercise

5-4-3-2-1

This simple exercise is an example of sensory grounding, which involves directing your attention toward one or more of your five senses.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable and focus on the setting around you. 
02
Name 5 things you can see. As you do so, label each one in your head. 
03
Name 4 things you can hear. 
04
Name 3 things you can feel. 
05
Name 2 things you can smell. 
06
Name 1 thing you can taste. Some people will carry oils or a mint so they have them ready should they need to ground using their senses.  
07
Finally, take a moment to notice any other details around you or sensations you might be experiencing in this moment. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to simply be. 

Video Option

Watch this video about everyday grounding techniques, focusing on the sensory experiences it may evoke.  

Everyday Activities from Saprea on Vimeo.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Trauma and the Brain and Body

Grounding Techniques

Triggers

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

#04
Featured image for “Understanding Shame”
Understanding Shame
Survivors of child sexual abuse often experience persistent and intense feelings of shame, despite the truth that you did nothing…
#05
Featured image for “Introducing Mindfulness”
Introducing Mindfulness
Healing from child sexual abuse involves the practice of Mindfulness, which is purposefully paying attention with kindness and curiosity to…
#06
Featured image for “Neuroplasticity and Healing”
Neuroplasticity and Healing
Whatever trauma you’ve endured as a survivor, healing is possible due to your brain’s incredible ability to adapt and create…

Introducing Acknowledgement

Posted on April 19, 2023 - 8:07 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Introducing Acknowledgement

#02 Introducing Acknowledgement [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#02

Introducing Acknowledgement

Image

Introducing Acknowledgement

Healing from child sexual abuse involves the practice of Acknowledgement, which is looking with clarity and self-compassion at where you have been in the past and where you are today.
Download this resource (PDF)

#02 Introducing Acknowledgement [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#02

Introducing Acknowledgement

Healing from child sexual abuse involves the practice of Acknowledgement, which is looking with clarity and self-compassion at where you have been in the past and where you are today.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Expressive Writing

Expressive writing is writing freely about whatever is on your mind. It can serve as an outlet to explore certain emotions and anxieties that may be otherwise difficult to express or acknowledge. It may even reveal emotions that you weren’t aware of. Many survivors of trauma feel like they are carrying around thoughts, emotions, and memories that seem impossible to unpack. The past might blur into the present, thoughts might feel muddled and disjointed, and emotions may seem either too overwhelming or just out of reach. Whatever the state of our thoughts and emotions, expressive writing can help to bring clarity and cohesion. 

Activity steps

There’s no right or wrong way to do expressive writing, but here’s one way to try. 
01
For the next 5 minutes, write about something you’ve been thinking about.
It can be anything you feel ready to write about. Some examples might be:  
A recent argument:
An upcoming event:
A recurring dream:
A current relationship:
Changes occurring in your life:
A past experience:
A thought or emotion you want to explore: 
02
Before you begin writing, here are a few tips:  
  • Write continuously for the full 5 minutes, even if you feel you have nothing to write about. You can even write “I have nothing to write about,” but don’t stop writing.
  • If you write about a specific event, be sure to include your feelings about that event.
  • Give yourself permission to remember and to feel, as long as you can do so safely. Don’t pressure yourself towards feeling one specific emotion over another.  
  • Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, sentence structure, organization, etc.
  • Write for yourself. No one else will read this, so don’t censor your thoughts or feelings.
  • If you start to feel triggered, take a break to practice some self-care. After your break, feel out if you’d like to finish the activity to create closure, return to it later, or work on it with the help of a trusted therapist.  
  • While these writing sessions can be an effective way to sort through thoughts, memories, and emotions, they are meant to complement, not substitute, taking action, seeking therapy, attending support groups, or seeking medical care.
03
Once you have finished writing, it might be helpful to reflect on your writing session with the following questions: 
  • Should I write about this same topic next time, or am I ready to shift toward another topic?
  • How did I feel as I was writing? Do I feel any different now than before I started?
  • What do I want to do with this writing? Keep it? Throw it away? Burn it? Art journal over it?

Grounding Exercise

Butterfly Hug

The butterfly hug—sometimes referred to as the “self-love hug”—is an example of sensory grounding involving touch. It is also a self-soothing technique you can use any time you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or triggered.

Activity Steps

01
Get into a comfortable position, either sitting up or lying down.  
02
Cross your arms over your chest and rest the tips of your fingers on your collarbone, shoulders, or arms. 
03
Next, gently tap your arms, alternating sides. As you do so, breathe in and out.
04
Continue this exercise for 2–5 minutes or as long as you need to.
05
When you are done, rest your hands on your lap and let your attention come back to the present moment.  

Video Option

Watch this video and follow along as Jessica guides you through the butterfly hug.  

Butterfly Hug from Saprea on Vimeo.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Acknowledgement and Its Role in Healing from Child Sexual Abuse

Creative Expression

Building Your Support Network

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

#03
Featured image for “Understanding the Limbic System”
Understanding the Limbic System
Part of understanding trauma’s impact on the brain is learning about the limbic system and its drive to protect us…
#04
Featured image for “Understanding Shame”
Understanding Shame
Survivors of child sexual abuse often experience persistent and intense feelings of shame, despite the truth that you did nothing…
#05
Featured image for “Introducing Mindfulness”
Introducing Mindfulness
Healing from child sexual abuse involves the practice of Mindfulness, which is purposefully paying attention with kindness and curiosity to…

Trauma’s Impact on the Brain and Body

Posted on April 5, 2023 - 5:26 pm by

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Trauma’s Impact on the Brain and Body

#01 Trauma's Impact on the Brain and Body [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#01

Trauma’s Impact on the Brain and Body

Image

Trauma’s Impact on the Brain and Body

Learning how trauma impacts the brain and body can be a validating first step toward understanding your lived experiences as a survivor.
Download this resource (PDF)

#01 Trauma's Impact on the Brain and Body [cc] from Saprea on Vimeo.

#01

Trauma’s Impact on the Brain and Body

Learning how trauma impacts the brain and body can be a validating first step toward understanding your lived experiences as a survivor.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Taking Conscious Action

For Option 2 of this activity, the group leader will need to provide some coloring pages and coloring utensils.
Almost any activity can become automatic when it is a routine part of your life. Your brain has an amazing ability to help you become more efficient by building habits. However, when you’re unaware of your automatic responses, you lose some ability to consciously make a choice. This activity will help you become more familiar with your automatic responses by interrupting them with something deliberate. It will likely feel strange at first—even with the smallest of actions—but that awkwardness means you’re leaning into a challenge and your brain is adapting to something new.

activity steps

Starting small:

01
Let’s explore automatic and deliberate responses by trying a few simple movements.
02
First, clasp your hands together and interlock your fingers. Note which thumb is currently wrapped on top of the other.
03
Relax your hands, then clasp them together again, this time interlocking your fingers so that the other thumb is wrapped on top. Keep your fingers interlocked for a few more seconds, noting any differences you may feel between this position and the first one.
04
Next, cross your legs. Note which leg you’ve crossed over the other and how much thought you put into the movement. Then cross your legs the other way, being mindful of which leg is now on top. Keep your legs crossed for a couple of seconds, noting any differences you may feel between this movement and the hand-clasping movements you did before.
If time allows

Option 1—Writing Activity

  • Pick up a pen with your dominant hand. Take a moment to write down the letters of the alphabet. Or if you’d rather, play a game of Tic-Tac-Toe with yourself or write down the names of your favorite breakfast cereals.
  • Next, repeat the same activity using your non-dominant hand, noting the differences you may feel between this task and the prior one.

Option 2—Coloring Activity

  • With the coloring pages and utensils provided by your group leader, color for a couple of minutes using your dominant hand.
  • Next, continue coloring using your non-dominant hand, noting any differences you may feel.

Wrap-up

After you finish, think about the different movements and activities you just did. Which ones felt more automatic? Which ones required more effort and focus? Which part of the activity felt the most frustrating? During which part did you feel the most mindful?

Grounding Exercise

Paced Breathing

Think of your breath as an anchor that holds you to the present. Your breathing serves you right now, in this moment. You cannot take breaths for the past or for the future—only for your present needs.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
02
Rest a hand on your chest or stomach if it helps you feel calm.
03
Focus on the image of a breathing heart, one that swells with each inhale and compresses with each exhale.
04
Inhale through your nose, envisioning your heart expanding. Count four heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4.
05
Hold your breath, counting two heartbeats. 1, 2.
06
Exhale through your nose, envisioning your heart compressing. Count six heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. The key is to try making the exhale longer than the inhale to help calm the body.
07

Repeat this for 2­–5 minutes, or if you are using the exercise to help manage a trigger, repeat these steps as many times as necessary to feel grounded in the present moment. You may also choose to place both hands over your heart as you envision it expanding and contracting. As your heartbeats slow, your breathing will get deeper, continuing to calm you.

Video Option

Watch this guided breathing video, timing your breathing to the opening and closing of the lotus petals. Repeat for 2–5 minutes, or as long as needed.

5-Minute Guided Breathing Meditation from Saprea on Vimeo.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Trauma and the Brain and Body

Sleep Issues

Creating Intentional Behaviors

Done With This Topic? Jump to the Next.

#02
Featured image for “Introducing Acknowledgement”
Introducing Acknowledgement
Healing from child sexual abuse involves the practice of Acknowledgement, which is looking with clarity and self-compassion at where you…
#03
Featured image for “Understanding the Limbic System”
Understanding the Limbic System
Part of understanding trauma’s impact on the brain is learning about the limbic system and its drive to protect us…
#04
Featured image for “Understanding Shame”
Understanding Shame
Survivors of child sexual abuse often experience persistent and intense feelings of shame, despite the truth that you did nothing…
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