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If you are interested in leading a support group for survivors of child sexual abuse, this section offers practical resources and tips to help you create a safe and supportive environment. We can help you navigate your role, from managing difficult situations to starting a group.
Preparing for a Group Meeting
Saprea Support Groups are led by survivors who were sexually abused at or before the age of 18. These groups may be most beneficial for individuals who identify as female, or who were assigned female at birth. We welcome all eligible individuals regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, background, or ability. To help foster a sense of community, it is important for the group leader to create an inclusive environment where everyone feels welcome. With this in mind, if a group leader is starting an in-person group, they will need to find a location where everyone, including members of marginalized groups, will feel safe attending.
Yes. Many group leaders like to attend groups before launching their own. You can visit our Find a Group page or reach out to our outreach team at supportgroups@saprea.org to connect with groups to shadow.
Yes. Saprea Support Groups are self-governed. This means that, as a group leader, you get to facilitate the logistics of the support group. This will include securing a location or online platform, scheduling times to meet, and communicating those details to your group members. For more questions about how to set up a group, check out our Start a Group page.
Yes. Our outreach team hosts group leader-specific gatherings for this very purpose. Once you submit your group, you will be invited to these meetings. You can also email contact@sapreasupportgroups.org for more info.
On average each group is about 90 minutes. This varies depending on group size. Outside of group, we recommend setting aside 1–2 hours of preparation for each group meeting. This will give you enough time to manage scheduling and attendance, communicate details to your group members, complete preparations before each meeting, and tend to any needs after the meeting has concluded. You may need a little more time if you are just starting a group.
You and your group can decide how often you’d like to meet (weekly, bi-monthly, monthly, etc.). Existing group leaders have mentioned it’s easier to add group meetings rather than take them away. Consider establishing a cadence that feels manageable and not overwhelming as you begin.
- Check our Resources for Group Leaders page and print out copies of the group leader materials, including the Check-in Worksheet, Resource Referral Worksheet, and meeting script.
- Communicate with your group where and when the meeting will be. For online groups be sure you have shared a link and how to connect.
- Review the topic discussed in the last group meeting.
- Review the topic, video, and activity for the current group meeting.
- Bring any materials needed for the current meeting’s activity.
- Set up the technology you’d like to use to play the video for the group. For instance, you may consider downloading the video or streaming from the website if your meeting location has a good internet connection.
Leading a Group Meeting
For each meeting, Group Leader A will do the following:
- Welcome the group.
- Lead the group in reading aloud the purpose statement.
- Review the meeting guidelines.
- Ask each member to participate in a group check-in.
- Review the previous topic you covered as a group.
- Invite members to participate in the meeting’s sharing portion. During this portion, participants can share what they’ve experienced since the group last met, such as how they applied the most recent topic to their life, how they held a boundary, or how they practiced self-care.
- Introduce the current topic by playing the group meeting video* and then inviting participants to share how this new topic may help them in their healing journey.
- Lead the group in a 5–10-minute activity* about the new topic. A couple of these activities require preparation beforehand.
- Invite participants to choose a healing activity that they can do on their own before the next meeting.
- Lead participants in a grounding exercise* to help wrap up the meeting.
- Close the meeting by having participants read aloud the Aspiration Statement.
- Thank the participants for coming and welcome them to socialize afterward, if the venue allows.
Group Leader B will:
- Help to maintain a safe environment.
- Provide support for Group Leader A and group members.
- If someone leaves the group, follow within five minutes to make sure that participant is okay (but give them space if needed).
- Pauses the meeting if grounding is necessary.
- Uphold and maintain guidelines for the group.
*Available in group meeting materials.
Yes. While it is important to follow the script each meeting, these groups are self-governed. This means you are welcome to create a culture specific to your group through your choice of location, the activities that you engage in after the meeting, whether you use a timer during check-in and sharing, or bringing snacks.
Elements of the Script
This statement helps to create a unified understanding among the group of what they want to accomplish and reminds participants of their worth, capability, and progress.
This statement helps remind participants of why they attend group and the fulfilling future they are working towards through healing thoughts and actions.
The guidelines help remind participants of how they can get the most out of their time together. They also help to create a consistent and safer experience for everyone. They are as follows:
- We maintain confidentiality by using only our first names and not sharing what happens during our meetings with anyone, even our families, partners, or significant others. In order for participants to feel safe enough to share, they need to feel certain that nobody is going to be telling people outside of the group about what is said during the meeting. Make sure this is well understood by everyone. If participants are joining, ask that they do so from a private setting or to use headphones to ensure that another participant’s comments aren’t overheard.
- We stay present during group and avoid engaging in other activities. It’s important that the group members honor their time together and stay present with each other so that they can build a community and learn together.
- We use appropriate language and don’t raise our voices, no matter the emotions. Sometimes language or tone can be a trigger for people. This guideline helps participants focus on safety by avoiding raised voices, explicit language, or accusatory tones.
- We give support, not advice. Saprea Support Groups are for support, not therapy. Therapy is where advice is given and can be an important part of the healing process, but should be done with a licensed therapist. (See support group vs. therapy question)
- We use “I” statements. When participants use “I” statements, they are reflecting on their own experiences that others may find helpful in their journey. Using “I” statements helps participants stay away from giving advice.
- We share “headlines,” not details of past trauma. In Saprea Support Groups, group members stay focused in the present to help everyone feel safe. By sharing headlines and not details of past trauma, participants reduce the risk of a fellow member becoming triggered during group. Sticking to headlines also makes it easier for participants to avoid comparing their experiences to each other. Such comparisons can lead to thoughts like, “Everyone else had it worse than me; their healing is more important than mine,” and can increase feelings of shame and unworthiness.
- Example of headlines: “When I was six, my older brother started sexually abusing me. The abuse went on for several years. I always felt unsafe, like I couldn’t go home or trust anyone. I wanted to tell my mom, but I didn’t think she’d believe me or care that it was happening. As the abuse went on, I started feeling more emotionally numb. I even started to dissociate, like I was floating out of my body and watching the abuse happen to someone else. These feelings of numbness and disconnection haven’t ever really gone away, even as I’ve gotten older.”
- Example of details: Specifics of the abuse, including what the abuse was (oral, vaginal, anal, voyeuristic, etc.), the physiological responses that resulted, how often the abuse happened, names of body parts involved, and in-depth descriptions of the abusive acts.
- We are quiet while someone else speaks and avoid engaging in side conversation. An important part of Saprea Support Groups is feeling safe and valued. When participants listen to each other, they show that they respect and care about each other. If meeting online, advise participants to refrain from unmuting themselves or posting comments in the chat while another person is sharing.
- We refrain from advertising, selling, or recruiting on behalf of any business or faith-based organization. One of the purposes of Saprea Support Groups is to create feelings of safety where each participant should not worry about being asked to buy something or participate in something that is unrelated to the support group.
- We ask everyone to check in, but sharing is always voluntary. Saprea Support Groups require everyone to check in. By doing so, each participant has an opportunity to observe/check in with their thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. They also demonstrate an element of accountability by talking about the healing activity they selected in the last meeting, as well as recognizing a moment from the past week that was a personal triumph.
- We hold ourselves and each other accountable and follow the guidelines of the group. Members of the group should feel a sense of ownership for making sure the group stays safe and provides support. The best way to achieve this is to know the meeting guidelines and to hold themselves and each other accountable. This means reminding fellow participants of the guidelines when necessary, in a kind and respectful way.
- We maintain a safe, predictable meeting by following the script without deviating. The role of the script is to help create safety, provide education, and nurture a sense of community among adult survivors of child sexual abuse. It was written specifically to establish a predictable structure, which helps create a feeling of safety as participants know what to expect each week. Its format is trauma-informed, clinically approved, and tailored to follow best practices.
Safety
In her book Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma, Janina Fisher states, “Trauma survivors need to feel safe in order to heal; they need to feel some sense of control over their lives now; and they do not need to feel small or less than others or ashamed.” With this principle in mind, the first priority of Saprea Support Groups is safety. The safer a survivor feels during group, the easier it will be for them to share their experiences openly, connect with others, give and offer support, apply mindfulness and self-compassion, learn healing tools, and manage feelings of shame and other trauma responses.
Support groups focus on where the survivor is today and providing them with tools to help further their healing. A support group differs from a therapy group in that there is no exploration, analysis, or processing of a participant’s personal trauma. Rather, a support group is intended to help participants benefit from the strength of their survivor community and guide them in becoming familiar with the skills and principles taught in group. These groups also provide a great support network since participants are often experiencing similar circumstances, challenges, and emotions. For some survivors, this group may be their only support and the first time they can share their experiences openly and honestly.
Triggers and Grounding
A trigger is anything that sparks a thought or body memory that reminds a person of a traumatic event. Triggers are unique to each person and their specific trauma. While triggers can be difficult to predict, they tend to cause intense emotional and physical reactions in a survivor. This is because the brain connects the trigger with a past traumatic experience and initiates a trauma response. For instance, when survivors are discussing their experiences in a support group, someone might say or do something that unintentionally triggers another participant.
When triggered, a participant might experience intense levels of anxiety, fear, distress, and/or disconnection. They may even experience a panic attack or dissociate from their environment. It’s the role of Group Leader B to watch the reactions and body language of the participants to see if anyone is showing signs of being triggered. Group Leader B can then pause the meeting to lead a quick grounding exercise to help participants cope with whatever triggers they may be experiencing.
Grounding exercises can help participants reconnect to the present moment as they work through thoughts and emotions that may feel overwhelming or difficult. You can refer to the grounding exercise available on the website in the group materials. As Group Leaders A and B, you will be leading these grounding exercises at the close of each meeting, as well as any other time you feel participants could benefit from the exercises. It will be helpful for you to become familiar with the different grounding exercises provided in the meeting script and group materials.
Responding to a Crisis
This is a worksheet you need to fill out prior to leading your first group. It includes places for you to write down contact information for your local crisis hotline or a local shelter. It also helps prepare you to offer resources if the need arises. Please remember that you are not a therapist, and we do not expect you to fill that role.
Sometimes unforeseen situations may occur within the group that could be described as a crisis. A crisis is a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger. Although we want you to be prepared, we also understand that each circumstance is unique. When handling any out-of-the-norm situation within your group, please remember that you are the group leader for a reason. You can do this. But you are not required to act in the place of a professional mental health provider.
The following are suggested steps when dealing with a crisis. Please feel free to adjust them according to your judgment and intuition.
- Read the Safety Statement.
Safety Statement: Let’s pause and make sure we all feel safe. - Try a grounding exercise.
Grounding exercises help participants return to a regulated state and can help to de-escalate a potential crisis. Feel free to pick grounding exercises within your group, or you can refer to the grounding exercise in the script and online group materials. - Dismiss the group.
First, offer the person-of-focus an opportunity to leave or remove themselves from the situation. Encourage them to take a walk to get some fresh air and invite them to return when they feel ready. If they refuse and interfere with the safety and focus of the group, you may dismiss the group to help keep everyone safe. For instance, you might say, “Let’s all take a 5–10-minute break to stretch our legs and get some fresh air.” This pause can give you time as group leaders to check in with the participant who may be struggling and decide how to best support them. - Encourage participant to call Support Person.
Suggest the person-of-focus call a close friend or family member for support or to come and get them. If this participant is unable to contact a support person and/or you feel that you are unable to handle the situation, please call the emergency number. - Call emergency number (911 in the US).
If you feel that you are not able to safely manage a crisis, please call the emergency number for your country and allow trained professionals to handle the situation. - Practice self-care.
Following a crisis or other highly emotional situations, you may find that you are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or triggered. It’s important to take time to practice self-care. Once a situation has been resolved, give yourself the time to process what has happened. Some suggestions for processing after a crisis include: journaling and expressive writing to organize your thoughts, seeking professional therapy for support, and checking in with the other group members about the situation and acknowledging its impacts to help regulate emotions before moving on. During these check-ins, it’s important to keep thoughts brief and straightforward, bearing in mind that this is a time for acknowledgement and not for therapeutic processing or rehashing the situation.
Group leaders are not required to go through all the steps in order. Circumstances may arise where leaders need to skip directly to Step #5.
If a crisis occurs outside of group, it can be difficult to know what to do first. If the crisis is communicated through a group text, there may also be some challenges within the group in dealing with the situation. Remember that you are not to act as the group members’ therapist. If the crisis requires immediate help, please contact emergency personnel and authorities.
The following are additional ways that you can support your group.
- Maintain boundaries.
In a crisis situation, it’s important that you hold healthy boundaries and remain calm. You need to recognize what you can and can’t do in these situations. Do not risk your own safety or healing. - Reference the Three Healing Practices.
The three healing practices are important tools you should use in these situations. Oftentimes, Acknowledgement and Mindfulness are two practices that help the group leader and the group deal with a crisis that occurs outside of group. Remind group members of the coping skills and grounding exercises they practice in group. - Provide local resources.
When someone is in crisis, they will greatly benefit from resources designed to meet their needs. Connecting that person with resources helps them to begin building their support network. In some areas, calling 211 can connect you with these local resources. For resources outside of the US, please check with local authorities. Remember, if a situation is life threatening, feel comfortable calling 911 or the emergency number in your country. - Practice self-care.
Once a crisis subsides, take time to care for your personal needs by using a grounding exercise, healing activity, personal support, and professional help, if possible. Send the members of your group messages of encouragement to do the same. Before starting the script at your next group meeting, acknowledge the crisis situation and that it may have been difficult or triggering for those involved. Keep your thoughts brief and straightforward, bearing in mind that this is a time for acknowledgement and not a rehashing of the situation. - Follow up.
Following up with the other group members can reassure them that their experience is also recognized and reaffirms the standard of group safety for everyone. You can send positive messages to the person-of-focus that they may or may not respond to. Don’t feel like you need to stay in constant contact—maintain your boundaries.
Managing Conflict
Conflict during group most often occurs when a participant violates the Meeting Guidelines. Some examples might include when a participant:
- Feels the need to share their whole story with as many details as possible, causing others to be triggered.
- Doesn’t wait until someone is done sharing or engages in side conversation while another participant is still sharing.
- Gives unwanted feedback or tries to solve the problem.
- Attacks another participant, either verbally or in the video chat, because they were triggered by what that participant said.
- Makes indirect comments toward another participant during their share.
During these situations, it’s important to be both kind and assertive. Your main priority is to ensure that everyone in the group feels safe. Try to gently reinforce good behaviors without calling anyone out or assigning full responsibility on one person.
This may sound like: “It is wonderful how brave and vulnerable everyone is being. As we continue, I would like to remind us of our guidelines. For example, remember that as you share, stick with headlines, not details. Thank you everyone for helping maintain safety.”
When it’s appropriate, pull the participant aside after the meeting to discuss any concerning behavior. When you do so, communicate your concern with kindness and clarity, ensuring the participant doesn’t feel attacked. Remind them about the culture and guidelines of the group and give them clear examples of when they deviated from these guidelines.
This may sound like: “This group provides an opportunity to listen and be heard. This means allowing everyone the space to share without giving advice. Advice was when you gave suggestions to another participant without asking them for feedback.”
If the problem persists, remind them of the importance of following the Meeting Guidelines in keeping the group safe. Reiterate how vulnerable people can feel while sharing. Encourage self-care.
Do You Still Have Questions?
Please contact our team and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. You can also sign up for an interesting meeting.
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