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Everyday Mindfulness

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Everyday Mindfulness

#17

Everyday Mindfulness

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Everyday Mindfulness

Mindfulness can become a way of being that permeates every aspect of your life, helping you to be attuned to your experiences and redirect your attention to the present with continued intention and an attitude of curiosity.
Download this resource (PDF)

#17

Everyday Mindfulness

Mindfulness can become a way of being that permeates every aspect of your life, helping you to be attuned to your experiences and redirect your attention to the present with continued intention and an attitude of curiosity.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Anchoring to the Present

When you practice grounding, you are learning to anchor your attention to the present. By doing so, you can be more aware of what you need in any given moment—whether it’s calming your body’s breathing, redirecting distressing thoughts, or reminding your aroused limbic system that you are in a safe place.

In fact, many grounding techniques involve selecting an actual anchor to focus your attention on. An anchor, in this context, is anything that you purposefully choose to focus your attention on during times of distress to help bring you back to the present. For example, in some of our grounding exercises, the anchor is your breath. In other exercises, your anchor is safe touch or the list of sensory details you chose to focus on. An anchor can be anything. It could be a thought, a quote, a lyric, a memory, an image, or a word—whatever has meaning to you. It can even be a tangible object—one that you carry with you, like a thumb stone, a coin, or a piece of jewelry.

Then, when you notice you’re being pushed to the edge of your window of tolerance—whether due to a trigger or to feeling trapped in a distressing thought, memory, or emotion—you can gently redirect your attention back to your anchor and the empowerment and healing it represents.

Activity steps

Part 1—Choosing Your Anchor 

01
Choose what you’d like your anchor to be.

It can be anything that has meaning to you and that you’d like to focus on. For example, if you know today will be an overwhelming day, you might choose the word “calm.” Or, perhaps you want to choose a color that represents the kind of day you’d like to have.

02
Write down your anchor on a sticky note.

Place the note someplace where you’ll see it every day. The bathroom mirror may be a good place. Or, if your anchor is a tangible object, keep that object near you or in your pocket.

03
Focus on your anchor at least once each day.

Direct your attention toward your anchor and the empowering thoughts and actions you associate with it. You might also try saying your anchor out loud once a day. It may feel a little awkward at first, but you’ll be surprised by how effective it can be.

04
Update your anchor to match your needs.

Your anchor never has to be set in stone. What works as an anchor for you now may not be as useful to you later. Change your anchor depending on your situation, intention, or focus. You get to choose, so your anchor can be whatever you need it to be.

Part 2—Anchor Through Writing 

01
Write down everything you can about the anchor you’ve selected.

If you are struggling to pick an anchor, here are a few more ideas that might help:

  • The pressure of your feet on the floor.
  • Sounds that come and go in the space around you.
  • An item you are using in this activity (the paper you’re writing on, the pen you’re holding, the chair you’re sitting in, etc.).
  • An encouraging thought, emotion, word, or idea (e.g., “I have the capacity to heal”).
02
When you notice your attention has wandered (because it will), gently note this shift without judgment and redirect your focus to your anchor.

To help you refocus, you may choose to bring your writing back to your first sentence or rewrite the name of your anchor. If there is a thought your attention keeps returning to, you may also try making that thought your new anchor and purposefully giving it your full attention.

03
After the time is up, give yourself a moment to appreciate the writing you’ve achieved before choosing what you’d like to do with it.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Save your writing and add on to it later.
  • Create a plan to apply or implement any insights you’ve had.
  • Discard or destroy your writing as a release.
  • Share your writing with others who are supportive.

Grounding Exercise

Mindful Movement

Mindful movement can help you feel reconnected with your body and ground you to the present moment. It can even help you to move through certain thoughts and emotions that you may feel stuck in. During this activity, as we gently engage with our bodies, be mindful of the sensations you experience. Try to observe those sensations with curiosity and without judgment.

So let's begin.

Activity Steps

  • Stand up or remain seated if that feels right for you.
  • Now stretch out your left arm and wiggle your fingers.
  • Stop wiggling your fingers and make a few circles with your wrist.
  • Next, swing your left arm forward and backward at the shoulder.
  • Now let’s focus on the right side. Stretch out your right arm and wiggle your fingers.
  • Stop wiggling your fingers and make a few circles with your wrist.
  • And finally, swing your arm forward and backward at the shoulder.
  • Now put your hands on your hips and stretch your whole upper body to the left.
  • Then stretch your whole upper body to the right.
  • Now reach your hands up over your head and stretch for a few seconds.
  • Roll your shoulders forward in circles a couple of times.
  • Reverse directions and roll your shoulders back in circles a couple of times.
  • Drop your neck forward to make clockwise circles a couple of times.
  • Reverse directions and make a couple of circles.
  • And finally, shake out every part of your body—your hands, your arms, your feet, your legs, and your head.
  • Once you finish, give yourself a moment to notice the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations you are experiencing.

Video Option

Watch this video and follow along as Saria guides you through a mindful movement activity.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Practicing Aspiration 

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Practicing Aspiration 

#16

Practicing Aspiration 

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Practicing Aspiration 

Practicing Aspiration can help us identify thoughts that are rooted in shame and gently reframe those thoughts through a lens of kindness and self-compassion.
Download this resource (PDF)

#16

Practicing Aspiration 

Practicing Aspiration can help us identify thoughts that are rooted in shame and gently reframe those thoughts through a lens of kindness and self-compassion.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Challenging Cognitive Distortions

Note to Group Leader: If you are short on time and would like to modify this activity, you can invite participants to select one of the Challenge Questions to answer during the “Explore” section.

Part of Aspiration is directing our thoughts towards healing. This may seem difficult at times, especially when our thoughts take mental shortcuts that reflect—and fuel—certain beliefs about ourselves.

Everyone’s thought processes take mental shortcuts from time to time. For example, you may predict the length of your commute based on what traffic was like yesterday. Sometimes, however, these shortcuts are unhelpful and do not reflect reality. A cognitive distortion is a mental shortcut our minds take that is rooted in feelings of shame, judgment, or self-blame. Such shame-based shortcuts are especially common among survivors of child sexual abuse. Cognitive distortions (sometimes referred to as “thinking errors”) often reinforce the shame that we are already feeling, rather than providing a different, more compassionate perspective.

An example of a shame-based shortcut might be:
Situation: You have a headache.
Thought: “I am so incapable of coping with life that even the smallest things give me a headache. I shouldn’t even try to function as an adult.”

Cognitive Distortions Commonly Experienced by Child Sexual Abuse Survivors 

Recognizing the mental shortcuts you take can help you evaluate if they are helpful or not. Here are five types of cognitive distortions that survivors of child sexual abuse commonly experience.

Thinking in Extremes

This includes seeing things in black-and-white terms, with no in between, as well as exaggerating our idea of what is happening.
  • “It’s impossible for me to connect with anyone.”
  • “I’m always alone, and I never get to do things with friends.”

Stuck in a Single Event

Taking one instance and expecting all current and future situations to be similar to that single instance.  
  • “It was really difficult to share my story, and the person I just disclosed my abuse to responded cruelly. I shouldn’t tell anyone about my abuse because they will have the same reaction.”

Filtering Out the Positive 

Acknowledging positive experiences but then rejecting them as meaningless or exceptional. 
  • “I didn’t experience any setbacks today, but that’s probably just a fluke.”
  • “I received good feedback on my project, but it’s only because they didn’t read it closely enough to see all my mistakes.”

Jumping to Conclusions

Making assumptions about the future or about what other people are thinking based on your current emotions, past experiences, or small bits of information.  
  • “My friend hasn’t been supportive in the past, so she probably won’t be supportive in the future.”
  • “Others see me as damaged.”

Making It Personal

Assigning blame to yourself or assuming the situation hinges on your actions rather than other circumstances.  
  • “She seemed upset. It must be something I said.”
  • “They changed that policy. It was probably because I was late two months ago.”

Activity steps

This activity will provide a sample script with an example of an unhelpful thought, challenging questions that can help you analyze it, and possible answers to those questions. Work to come up with instances of cognitive distortions from your own life, using the example as your guide.

01
Identify

In your journal, write down any unhelpful thoughts you may be experiencing.

Thought:
I’ll never be able to trust anyone.
Identify the cognitive distortion:
Thinking in extremes, jumping to conclusions
02
Explore

Examine those thoughts through a list of questions to determine whether those thoughts are helpful or unhelpful.

Challenge Questions:

Q. Do I know for certain that this is true?
A.
I’m not 100% certain that I’ll never be able to trust someone.
Q. Am I certain of the consequences or results?
A.
Not 100%, no. I’m not 100% certain of most things.
Q. What evidence supports this fear or belief?
A.
I’ve been hurt, betrayed, and abused in the past. People are capable of terrible things. I just can’t be entirely sure that someone won’t try to hurt me again.
Q. What evidence contradicts this fear or belief?
A.
There are a couple people in my life who have generally been there when I needed them. They have said before that they care about me, and their actions show it.
Q. Is it possible the opposite could happen? What would be the outcome? 
A.
I could decide to trust someone, and they don’t treat me the way I’ve been treated in the past. We could build a healthy, strong relationship that supports us both.
Q. Is my negative prediction driven by the intense emotions I’m experiencing?
A.
Probably. I’m currently feeling anxiety, fear, and distrust—and annoyance at my anxiety, fear, and distrust.
Q. What is the worst possible thing that could happen? What could I do to cope if it did?
A.
I decide to trust someone, and they let me down. It would be painful, even heartbreaking. I would probably cry a lot, talk to my therapist, and write about it in my journal before burning the pages. I could probably get through it though. I have before.
Q. If someone I cared about had this problem, what would I tell them?
A.
I’d probably tell them that they deserve to have healthy relationships and feel close to others. I’d tell them that if they’re really that anxious, they can take their relationships slow, at a pace that’s comfortable for them. I would also tell them to be patient with themselves and remember to take care of themselves first.

Grounding Exercise

Paced Breathing

Think of your breath as an anchor that holds you to the present. Your breathing serves you right now, in this moment. You cannot take breaths for the past or for the future—only for your present needs.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
02
Rest a hand on your chest or stomach if it helps you feel calm.
03
Focus on the image of a breathing heart, one that swells with each inhale and compresses with each exhale.
04
Inhale through your nose, envisioning your heart expanding. Count four heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4.
05
Hold your breath, counting two heartbeats. 1, 2.
06
Exhale through your nose, envisioning your heart compressing. Count six heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. The key is to try making the exhale longer than the inhale to help calm the body.
07
Repeat this for 2­–5 minutes, or if you are using the exercise to help manage a trigger, repeat these steps as many times as necessary to feel grounded in the present moment. You may also choose to place both hands over your heart as you envision it expanding and contracting. As your heartbeats slow, your breathing will get deeper, continuing to calm you.

Video Option

Watch this guided breathing video, timing your breathing to the opening and closing of the lotus petals. Repeat for 2–5 minutes, or as long as needed.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Identifying Shame 

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Identifying Shame 

#15

Identifying Shame 

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Identifying Shame 

A helpful first step in managing shame is learning to identify when it influences different areas of our lives, such as how we think and feel about ourselves, how we interact with others, and how we cope during times of stress.
Download this resource (PDF)

#15

Identifying Shame 

A helpful first step in managing shame is learning to identify when it influences different areas of our lives, such as how we think and feel about ourselves, how we interact with others, and how we cope during times of stress.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Identifying Shame 

As discussed in the video, when we have a better understanding of what shame can look like, feel like, and sound like, we can more easily identify how we experience it in our own lives. This awareness can help us to not only recognize when a certain thought, emotion, action, or physical sensation is tied to shame, but also how to apply healing tools, like Mindfulness and self-compassion, to help counteract that shame. In other words, when we are able to “name it” we can more easily “tame it.”

It may also be helpful to note that just as our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations are interconnected (oftentimes in ways we aren’t even aware of), so too is shame’s effects in the different areas of our lives. For example, a thought rooted in shame, such as “I don’t deserve to heal” may contribute to (or coincide with) feelings of despair, a physical sense of heaviness, and/or the decision to isolate from others. This activity is designed to help you identify the different ways you may experience shame so that you can better name it and challenge it in the future.

Activity steps

01
Draw the following chart onto a piece of paper. Take a few minutes to fill out the chart by answering each question.
What is a thought I have that might be rooted in shame? 
I thought I was unworthy.
Emotions
When I have this thought, what emotion(s) do I feel?
I felt threatened and anxious.
Body
When I have this thought, what physical sensations do I experience?
I felt a tightness in my chest and a heaviness in the rest of my body.
Behavior
When I have this thought, what do I do? 
I lay in bed and scroll through social media for a long time, sometimes hours.
Relationships
When I have this thought, how do I view and interact with others? 
I feel I need to hide.
02
After completing the chart, take a moment to reflect on your answers. Are there any other ways that the thought you wrote down may impact the different areas of your life? 
03
Next, create in your mind a kind and loving inner companion. Perhaps you want to use the same inner companion you selected during the “Fostering Self-Kindness” activity from Group Meeting 4.
04
Explore what your inner companion would say to you while you were experiencing the thought from your chart. What words of comfort and understanding would they offer? How would their response impact your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and actions?  
05
Remind yourself that as you continue identifying the ways in which you experience shame, you can more easily counteract that shame by looking at it through a more compassionate lens. We’ll look at more ways that you can challenge thoughts like the one you wrote down today at our next group meeting   

Grounding Exercise

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are sentences you say to yourself to remind you of your value, how far you’ve come, and how capable you are of continuing your healing journey. They can serve as an anchor to this moment, as well as a tool to nurturing self-compassion.

So let's begin.

Activity Steps

01

Select an affirmation from this list or choose one of your own.

  • I am enough.
  • I am learning to love myself.
  • I choose happiness.
  • I am moving forward on my healing journey one choice at a time.
  • I have strength and power to take whatever comes my way.
  • I can do challenging things.
  • I am grateful for this day and the many possibilities it affords.
  • I deserve compassion, kindness, and understanding.
02
Repeat the affirmation in your mind as you inhale and exhale, envisioning the words as your anchor to the present.  
03
As your mind wanders, gently redirect it back to the affirmation, noting your drifting attention with patience and curiosity.  
04
Continue this exercise for 1–2 minutes. As you do so, you might choose a new affirmation to focus on or stick with the same one—whatever works best for you.  
05
When you are finished, allow yourself a few paced breaths, imagining feelings of warmth and compassion flowing through you.  

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Practicing Acknowledgement 

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Practicing Acknowledgement 

#14

Practicing Acknowledgement 

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Practicing Acknowledgement 

The essence of Acknowledgement is being honest with yourself about where you have been and where you are today, and doing so in a way that is nonjudgmental and compassionate.
Download this resource (PDF)

#14

Practicing Acknowledgement 

The essence of Acknowledgement is being honest with yourself about where you have been and where you are today, and doing so in a way that is nonjudgmental and compassionate.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Creative Expression

For many survivors, creative expression may feel like the safest and purest way to acknowledge and communicate certain emotions, thoughts, and experiences. For others, this will be new territory and may bring up feelings of inadequacy. Either way, allowing yourself the freedom to creatively explore or express what you are feeling can be intensely rewarding.

You may want to use creative expression to acknowledge or move through certain emotions, like anger or disappointment. Or you may feel a need to create something that celebrates your strength, resilience, and the victories you’ve experienced on your healing journey so far. Whatever you choose to creatively express, remember there is no need for judgment or criticism. There is only what you are feeling and what you’d like to use your creativity to accomplish. While the possibilities are endless, below is a list of potential ways to creatively express your own experience. Whether you are trying something from this list or are inspired by your own ideas, give yourself the opportunity to embrace whatever feels helpful or expressive.

Activity

Explore ways to engage in creative expression through one or more of the following options: 

Note: For some of these options, the group leader will need to provide additional art supplies. If art supplies are not available, participants can explore Options 1, 3, 5, and 6. They could also modify Option 2 to focus specifically on drawing.
  • Write
    Words can be a powerful way to explore and express your healing. Consider writing a poem or a series of poems that capture your healing journey. Or, simply find a paper or notepad and begin writing whatever comes to mind. You may decide to keep your writing, or you may find it therapeutic to tear it up or burn it later. You may want to keep your writing to yourself, or you may find empowerment in sharing it with others. There is no right or wrong way to write; use writing in a way that is helpful to you.

  • Paint or Draw
    For some, emotions and experiences may be difficult to capture in words. Perhaps creating something visual would feel more engaging. Think about creating a painting or drawing to express your healing journey. You could create an image with recognizable elements or maybe you want to create something abstract that expresses your feelings in shapes and colors.

  • Take Photographs
    If painting or drawing feels intimidating, maybe you’d like to take a series of photographs to represent your healing journey. Our phones have made it easy to instantaneously capture images. If the setting allows, you could explore the venue and/or go on a mindful walk and consciously look for things to photograph that express your feelings.

  • Make an Art Journal
    Art journaling can be a great way to collect meaningful words and images. There are many examples of art journals online, and the possibilities are endless. Ideally, you’d have a notebook that is just for art journaling, and a collection of pens, images, glue, washi tape, stickers, or anything else you might want to use in your journal. Some survivors find it helpful to expressively write on the pages and then cover the writing with images and words that represent their healing or emotions. You may choose to art journal daily, or whenever you feel inspired. Be creative and let this journal be what you want it to be.

  • Engage with Music
    Music can be the perfect tool to explore thoughts, insights, and feelings that are difficult to express. There are a variety of ways you could use music. Maybe you’d like to write new lyrics for a song that already exists. Or perhaps you’d like to write an original piece of music either with or without words. You could also put in your earbuds (to make it easier for the other participants to focus on their creative expressions) and create a playlist that includes songs that represent your healing journey and the different emotions you experience. You can listen to this playlist to inspire you to focus on healing, to embrace or move through a specific emotion, or to celebrate your strength.

  • Dance
    For survivors of child sexual abuse, there is great power in connecting with your body. Consider choreographing a dance to represent your healing journey or putting on a triumphant song and spontaneously moving as a way to connect with both your body and your emotions.

  • Craft with Paper, Fabric, or Wood
    Many survivors take up a hobby to help them practice Mindfulness. Hobbies can also be a great way to form connections with others. For example, paper crafting (like scrapbooking or card-making) can be a fun way to create things that become keepsakes or gifts and can easily be done in groups. Paper quilling is also a beautiful art form, and the attentiveness needed as you roll the paper can be an excellent opportunity to practice Mindfulness. Embroidery, cross-stitch, knitting, and crocheting can also provide opportunities to connect with others and/or practice Mindfulness. Wood provides similar potential with painting, woodburning, carving, etc. The key is to find something you enjoy and to allow it to help you explore your feelings and express your experiences.

Grounding Exercise

5-4-3-2-1

This simple exercise is an example of sensory grounding, which involves directing your attention toward one or more of your five senses.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable and focus on the setting around you. 
02
Name 5 things you can see. As you do so, label each one in your head. 
03
Name 4 things you can hear. 
04
Name 3 things you can feel. 
05
Name 2 things you can smell. 
06
Name 1 thing you can taste. Some people will carry oils or a mint so they have them ready should they need to ground using their senses.  
07
Finally, take a moment to notice any other details around you or sensations you might be experiencing in this moment. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to simply be. 

Video Option

Watch this video about everyday grounding techniques, focusing on the sensory experiences it may evoke.  

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Coping Skills—Part 2 

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Coping Skills—Part 2 

#13

Coping Skills—Part 2 

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Coping Skills—Part 2 

As you direct your thoughts and actions towards healing, it can be helpful to identify which coping strategies you’d like to continue and which coping strategies you may want to adjust or move away from.
Download this resource (PDF)

#13

Coping Skills—Part 2 

As you direct your thoughts and actions towards healing, it can be helpful to identify which coping strategies you’d like to continue and which coping strategies you may want to adjust or move away from.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Reflecting on Your Coping Strategies

An important step in healing from trauma is looking at the ways we cope with day-to-day challenges and asking ourselves if those coping strategies are more helpful or more harmful to our well-being in the long run. This activity provides you with more time to consider some of your current coping strategies by answering the questions presented in the video.

As you reflect on these questions, try to view your answers through a lens of compassion, curiosity, and non-judgment, reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can with the tools, experiences, and support you have. Remember that you are not judging or criticizing yourself for whatever coping strategies you’ve employed during times of distress. Rather, you are applying Acknowledgement by compassionately recognizing the coping strategies in your life that are beneficial to your healing as well as the coping strategies in your life that may no longer be needed (and are perhaps even creating further stress and disruption).

Activity steps

01
Write down a go-to habit or activity that you use during times when you feel pushed toward the edge or outside of your window of tolerance.  
02

Next, take a few minutes to reflect on this habit or activity by answering the following questions:

  • Does this cause me additional stress?
  • Do I feel better after engaging in this activity?
  • Does it help in the short-term but not in the long-term?
  • Is it disruptive to my daily activities?
  • Do I base decisions around being able to do this activity?
  • Does it affect my relationships in a negative way?
Note: Some of your answers to these questions might be more mixed or neutral, and that’s okay.
03
After answering these questions, review your responses as you consider the overall question: Is this a coping strategy that is more helpful or more harmful to my long-term healing? Or, put another way: Is this coping strategy helping me to progress in my healing or is it getting in the way?  
04
Finally, if the coping strategy you just reviewed is one that you may want to adjust or replace, brainstorm some ideas of a coping strategy that may be more helpful to you in the long-term. If you can’t think of anything right now, that’s okay. The important thing is that you reflected on a current coping strategy with honesty and compassion. You’ll have more opportunities in upcoming meetings to think about what tools and strategies you’d like to incorporate into your life  
05
If time allows, repeat these steps to reflect on another coping strategy that you’re wondering about 

Grounding Exercise

Self-Kindness Meditation

This exercise can help us not only ground to the present but offer ourselves warmth, comfort, and compassion. 

Activity Steps 

01
Place both hands over your heart and take a moment to feel the warmth of your touch.
Notice your breathing as it is. There is no need to change or deepen it. 
02
As you breathe in, imagine a sense of calm and gratitude flowing through your body and towards your heart.
As you breathe out, imagine any tension or stress leaving your body. It may also be helpful to focus on the image of a breathing heart.
03
Next, envision a moment when you were with someone who made you feel loved and safe.
This moment may be an actual memory with a loved one, trusted friend, neighbor, therapist, or mentor. You could also think of a moment spent with a beloved pet. Or, rather than drawing from a memory, you can envision a hypothetical scenario with an older, wiser version of yourself, or with a well-known figure you admire and whose work has brought you inspiration and comfort.
04
Think about the feelings of acceptance, safety, and love you experience when focusing on that person.
Take a moment to allow these feelings to spread throughout your body.

Hosting Your Meetings Off-Line? Download All of the Materials You Need Here:

Download this resource (PDF)
Download Meeting script (PDF)

Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Power of Play—Part 1 

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Power of Play—Part 1 

#12

Power of Play—Part 1 

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Power of Play—Part 1 

Play is a basic human need that can benefit your healing journey by giving you opportunities to practice Mindfulness, connect with others, be creative, and experience feelings of awe and joy.
Download this resource (PDF)

#12

Power of Play—Part 1 

Play is a basic human need that can benefit your healing journey by giving you opportunities to practice Mindfulness, connect with others, be creative, and experience feelings of awe and joy.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Exploring Play

Below are some ideas of ways you can explore play as a group, whether you're in-person or online. Feel free to pick 1-2 options that will work best for the group’s setting, preferences, and interests.

Person, Place, or Thing

In-person or online
Image
Image
Activity steps
01

Have a volunteer think of a common noun—such as a person, place, or thing—without saying it out loud. (You could also ask the group if they would rather play a variation of this game, such as “Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral” or if they want to pick a specific category, such as the name of a TV show or a brand of breakfast cereal.)

02
Next, invite the other players to guess which noun the volunteer is thinking about by asking them questions (“Is it something you can eat?” “Is it a place you can visit all year round?”). Set a certain limit of questions based on the size of your group. For example, if your group is smaller, you may want to allow each participant more questions to ask. Or perhaps you’d rather set a timer and see if one of the participants can guess the correct answer before the time is up.
03
Whoever guesses what noun the volunteer is thinking of within the allotted questions or before time is up gets to go next.

What Am I?

In-person
Image
This is a variation of the activity "Person, Place, or Thing" from above.
Activity steps
01
Divide the group into pairs and give them a pile of sticky notes that each have a word written on them. Like before, you and your group can determine what category of nouns you’d like to use during the game.
02
For each pairing, both participants will place one of the sticky notes on their foreheads without looking at the word written on it 
03
Participants will then take turns guessing what word is written on their sticky note by asking their partner a set of questions. (“Am I found in the kitchen?” “Am I smaller than a cellphone?”) 
04
You can wrap up the game when the timer goes off or after each pairing has finished guessing their assigned sticky notes.  

What Happens Next?

In-person or online
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Your group can spontaneously craft together an original story by taking turns filling in the blanks.

Activity steps
01
Ask one of the participants to be the narrator. Next, assign an order in which the group will rotate through their turns as the story progresses.
02
Begin the activity by having the narrator start reading the story below and then pausing when they reach the first blank 
03
Whoever is first in the rotation will fill in the blank with their own answer. Encourage participants to be as silly, random, and spontaneous as they wish.  
04
Once the first participant finishes filling in the blank, the narrator will continue reading the story until they reach the next blank. Then, have the next participant fill in the gap to keep the story going.  
05
Continue this until the story ends. Feel free to start the story over again until every participant has had a turn to fill in a blank. You may be surprised by how wildly different each version of the story will turn out to be!  
Story
Life was going great until one day ______________________. To help me figure out what to do next, I decided to call upon ______________________ for advice. They offered two suggestions. One was absolutely ridiculous, which was to ______________________. I decided to be sensible and follow the second piece of advice, which was to ______________________. Things were going better until, out of the blue, ______________________. This reminded of that one time when ______________________. But this was different, because it was ______________________. In a perfect world, I would call upon the services of ______________________ because they are an absolute expert in solving this kind of problem. But today, I had to settle for ______________________ instead.

Play a Game of Charades or Pictionary

In-person or online

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If the setting and resources allow, try playing a game of charades or Pictionary, with a volunteer choosing to draw or act out a specific word that their partner, team, or the rest of the group has to guess. If the group is meeting online, you can modify the game so that the volunteer acts out their word using facial expressions and hand gestures, or draws on a piece of paper and then holds the paper up to the screen for the rest of the group to see  

Beach Ball Toss

In-person
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Note: For this option, the group leader will need to bring a beach ball or another item that would be easy to toss.
Toss one or more beach balls around the room. Every time a participant catches a ball, have them call out the name of an animal (or any category of your group’s choosing) before tossing the ball to someone else. This activity is a great way to incorporate rhythm, movement, and play, as well as strengthen the connection between the brain and body.     

Play a Go-To Classic

In-person 
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Note: For this option, the group leader will need to bring in whatever games they think would be fun for participants to play.
Activity steps
01

Set up a couple of easy-to-play games around the room. Some suggestions include:

  • Jenga
  • Pick-up Sticks
  • Tic-tac-toe
  • Barrel of Monkeys
  • Spot the Difference pictures
  • Jigsaw Puzzle
  • Slap Jack
  • Bop It
  • Catch Phrase
02
Next, divide the group into pairs and have each pair go to a different station to play one of the games. (Or, if your meeting is small enough, you can rotate through the different stations together as a group.)  
03
After pairs are given a few minutes to play the game at their station, have them rotate to a different station to play a new game.  
04
Continue this rotation until everyone has had a chance to play each game, or until the activity’s time is up  
05
Afterwards, ask which games the participants enjoyed playing the most. Consider bringing those favorites back for the next Power of Play group meeting 

Grounding Exercise

Stomp and Clap

This activity utilizes elements of rhythm, play, and movement to help anchor your attention to the present.

Activity Steps

01

Group Leader A begins by performing a simple stomp-clap combination.

  • Example: Stomp, clap, stomp, stomp.
02

The rest of the group will then repeat the same stomp-clap combination in unison.

03
Repeat this back-and-forth dynamic between Group Leader A and the other participants a few times, allowing the group to fall into a natural call-and-response rhythm. 
04
Next, Group Leader B will start a new stomp-clap combination for the rest of the group to follow.  
05
Repeat the same call-and-response rhythm from steps 2 and 3.   
06
Continue the activity for as long as you’d like, allowing other participants the chance to lead the group with their own stomp-clap combinations.   

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Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.

Healthy Connections

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Healthy Connections

#11

Healthy Connections

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Healthy Connections

Building healthy relationships and connections with others is central to healing from the trauma of child sexual abuse. These connections make it easier to give and receive emotional support, trust, and compassion.
Download this resource (PDF)

#11

Healthy Connections

Building healthy relationships and connections with others is central to healing from the trauma of child sexual abuse. These connections make it easier to give and receive emotional support, trust, and compassion.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

New Ways to Connect

One of the ways we can build healthy connections is to say yes to new opportunities. This might seem difficult, especially when the brain jumps to negative thoughts about anything that sounds new or unfamiliar. However, saying yes to new opportunities, finding similarities where before you saw only differences, and letting go of judgment can break down barriers to connection.

This activity, much like the “Planning Ahead” activity from Group Meeting 6, provides the opportunity for strengthening the frontal lobe through intentional brainstorming, planning, and tracking. Looking at it from this angle, you are not only working to build new connections with others, but you are also building new neural connections in your brain.

Activity steps

01

Refer to the list below for ideas of new opportunities to foster connections with others. Take a minute to read through this list and note which opportunities sound interesting to you. You may initially want to dismiss certain options because they feel outside of your comfort zone. However, it may be helpful to consider possible benefits to these options that you may not have thought of right away.

02

Next, write down a couple of opportunities that you might be willing to try based on your preferences, needs, interests, and environment. These could be ideas on the list or other ideas that you’ve come up with.

03

After you’ve written down a couple of opportunities, select one of the opportunities and brainstorm a possible next step you could take to explore that opportunity. Perhaps this involves checking the website of a nearby community center, browsing a few local Facebook groups, or seeing where the nearest dog park is—whatever seems most interesting or accessible to you, based on where you are at right now in your healing journey.

Fostering Connections
  • Participate in a support group like this.
  • Engage with a church community.
  • Join a study group.
  • Start or join a Saprea Support Group
  • Take a community education class.
  • Volunteer (animal shelter, hospital, school, after-school program, nonprofit, etc.).
  • Reach out to old friends.
  • Reach out to supportive family members.
  • Participate in individual therapy.
  • Join a therapy group.
  • Connect with coworkers.
  • Be vulnerable with friends.
  • Check out a meet-up group.
  • Attend a class about a shared hobby.
  • Join a sports team.
  • Join a book club.
  • Regularly attend a gym class.
  • Join a walking/hiking group.
  • Take a cooking class.
  • Attend an addiction support group.
  • Join a choir or dance group.
  • Go to the dog park regularly.
  • Meet your neighbors.
  • Research your family/community heritage.
  • Become a "regular" at a local restaurant.
  • Help with a community project/initiative.

Grounding Exercise

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is based on the practice of intentionally contracting and relaxing the different muscle groups of the body. Not only does this exercise help reduce stress, anxiety, and muscle tension, but it can help draw your attention to the different parts of your body and all the ways it serves you.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

  • Settle into a comfortable position, sitting or lying down.
  • Soften your gaze or close your eyes.
  • Point the toes of your right foot toward your face and then away. Tense the thigh and calf muscles of your right leg.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Point the toes of your left foot toward your face and then away. Tense the thigh and calf muscles of your left leg.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Tense both legs.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Squeeze your right hand into a fist, tense your right arm, and bring your forearm toward your body.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Squeeze your left hand into a first, tense your left arm, and bring your forearm toward your body.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Squeeze both hands into fists, tense both arms, and bring your forearms towards your body.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Raise both shoulders.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • Select another muscle or muscle group of your choosing.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • If you are able, tense your entire body.
    Hold . . . relax.
  • After you have finished tensing and relaxing, take a moment to notice what your body feels like. Think back to a specific part of the body you tensed and relaxed and note how that muscle or muscle group has helped you today. (For example, “My calves helped me get up the stairs this morning.”)

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Additional Resources

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Coping Skills—Part 1 

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Coping Skills—Part 1 

#10

Coping Skills—Part 1 

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Coping Skills—Part 1 

Coping skills are go-to behaviors we employ to manage challenging moments. While some coping behaviors may have been helpful in the past, they may no longer be needed in the present and may even lead to additional stressors.
Download this resource (PDF)

#10

Coping Skills—Part 1 

Coping skills are go-to behaviors we employ to manage challenging moments. While some coping behaviors may have been helpful in the past, they may no longer be needed in the present and may even lead to additional stressors.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

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Emotion Wheel

Oftentimes, the coping skills we use are driven by our emotions. Every emotion provides insight on how we feel, as well as what we need. But how can we be more aware of what emotions we are experiencing in any given moment?

A tool that many survivors find helpful is an Emotion Wheel. This wheel helps you to identify and better understand the emotion (or emotions) you’re experiencing. Identifying our emotions is an important step in recognizing what our needs are and what behaviors we can employ to fulfill those needs. Once you understand the emotions that arise for you in certain situations—such as when you feel pushed toward the edge of your window of tolerance—you can take steps to tend to your emotional needs with helpful coping skills.

download saprea emotion wheel

Activity steps

01

Using the emotion wheel, identify a difficult emotion that you’ve experienced recently. Start by looking at the middle of the wheel to identify the core emotion you felt during that experience. Were you angry? Afraid? Sad? Numb? What did you experience physically? Trembling hands? A rush of heat to your face? A heavy weight in your stomach?

02

From there, move to the outer part of the wheel and observe the feelings associated with that emotion. Don’t necessarily look for an emotion. Rather, take note of which emotions resonate with you. You aren’t trying to “fix” or change your emotions, only become more aware of them.

03

Now, based on the emotion(s) you’ve identified, what was your need in that moment or situation? For instance, if you were experiencing feelings of rejection, then perhaps what you needed most was acceptance and belonging. Or, if you were feeling shame, your emotional need may have been self-compassion and curiosity.

For more examples, to the side is a list of common emotional needs that survivors of child sexual abuse may experience. If one of these examples resonates with you, we encourage you to write it down, along with a suggested activity you could try to help tend to that need in the future.

04

Reflect and consider repeating these steps in the future. As you return to the emotion wheel again and again, it will become easier for you to:

  • Identify the emotions you commonly experience.
  • Assess what need(s) you have in response to those emotions.
  • Choose an activity that will help you tend to that emotional need.

Over time and with consistent practice, these intentional choices can become go-to coping skills you employ again and again.

Emotional Needs and Suggested Activities 

Self-Compassion and Curiosity

  • Challenge a shameful/unhelpful thought with a Mindfulness exercise.
  • Imagine a friend in your situation and write a compassionate note to them.

Safety and Support

  • Practice the butterfly hug or another grounding exercise.
  • Set or brainstorm a boundary.

Hope

  • Recite positive affirmations.
  • Write a message from your future self.

Physical Movement

  • Try progressive muscle relaxation or stretching.
  • Go for a short walk outside while observing all your body has allowed you to accomplish today.

Acceptance and Belonging

  • Attend a support group.
  • Express your thoughts and feelings to a person you trust.
Note: The Emotion Wheel doesn’t only have to be used for understanding triggers and emotional needs. You can also use this wheel to identify whatever you may be feeling in any given moment—pleasant or unpleasant, painful or enjoyable.

example

Emotion(s) I Experienced Recently 
Fear. My stomach knotted up and I couldn’t catch my breath.  
Other Feelings 
I felt threatened and anxious 
Emotional Need 
I needed to feel safe and supported 
Coping Activity 
Practice paced breathing as I snuggle with my dog  

Grounding Exercise

Butterfly Hug

The butterfly hug—sometimes referred to as the “self-love hug”—is an example of sensory grounding involving touch. It is also a self-soothing technique you can use any time you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or triggered.

Activity Steps

01
Get into a comfortable position, either sitting up or lying down.  
02
Cross your arms over your chest and rest the tips of your fingers on your collarbone, shoulders, or arms. 
03
Next, gently tap your arms, alternating sides. As you do so, breathe in and out.
04
Continue this exercise for 2–5 minutes or as long as you need to.
05
When you are done, rest your hands on your lap and let your attention come back to the present moment.  

Video Option

Watch this video and follow along as Jessica guides you through the butterfly hug.  

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Additional Resources

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Introducing Aspiration 

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Introducing Aspiration 

#09

Introducing Aspiration 

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Introducing Aspiration 

Healing from child sexual abuse involves the practice of Aspiration, which is directing your thoughts and actions toward healing.
Download this resource (PDF)

#09

Introducing Aspiration 

Healing from child sexual abuse involves the practice of Aspiration, which is directing your thoughts and actions toward healing.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Post-Traumatic Growth

Imagine that your healing journey is like a lotus flower. A lotus, though buried in mud, has the capacity to rise through, bloom, and thrive above the surface. Its seeds can lay dormant for hundreds of years but still experience “rebirth” when placed in just the right conditions. Similarly, working through the struggle and difficulties of trauma can lead to unexpected growth and strength on the other side. This is called post-traumatic growth, which are the positive changes that occur as a person works through their healing journey after trauma.

Sometimes this growth isn’t easy to appreciate or see in the moment, but as you cultivate self-compassion, you’ll be able to more easily recognize your strengths and growth. By noting your triumphs, ways you’ve grown, and healing actions you’ve taken amidst your struggles, you can shift your focus away from perceived flaws and failures and towards your successes and capabilities. This acknowledgement can, over time, help to build up your sense of self-worth and self-kindness, which will make it easier to see yourself in a compassionate light.

As a survivor, you already have strength, but this activity will help you explore other ways you may have grown on your healing journey so far. Take a look at the lotus flower below. On the roots of the flower are examples of struggles someone might experience. On each of the petals are examples of strengths that can be developed through those struggles.

Note: Everyone grows in different ways and at different times. Here, you have the power over your own story.

Activity steps

01
In your notebook, draw a lotus flower that has five large petals and some roots branching beneath.
Or, if you have the supplies with you, gather a handful of sticky notes and place them on the top half of a blank page to represent your petals. 
02
Identify a challenge or struggle you have worked through or are currently working through.
(It may be helpful to start with something minor before thinking through a larger one.) Write this challenge or struggle beneath the roots of your lotus flower image or on the bottom half of your blank page. 
03
Fill in the petals with potential growth.

Consider areas in which you may have grown (or would like to grow) as you worked through or are working through the challenge. Write these down on the petals of the lotus flower or onto each of your sticky notes.

Below is a list of potential growth areas you can consider if you are struggling to get started. This list isn’t comprehensive, so feel free to add your own!

  • Personal strength
  • Connection with others
  • New possibilities
  • Spiritual change
  • Appreciation of life
  • Self-discovery
  • Emotional regulation
  • Treatment of others
  • Enhanced family closeness
  • Self-understanding
  • Sense of belonging
  • Life satisfaction
  • Will to live
  • Greater belief in self
  • Compassion
  • Increased faith in people
  • Stronger boundaries
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Optimism
  • Empathy
  • Resilience
  • Perseverance
  • Patience
04
Appreciate your growth.
Once you feel satisfied with how many petals you’ve filled, take a moment to appreciate the amazing qualities you have today that will help you continue taking steps forward in your healing.
05
If you’d like, you can create another flower and follow the same steps using a different struggle or challenge.  

Grounding Exercise

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are sentences you say to yourself to remind you of your value, how far you’ve come, and how capable you are of continuing your healing journey. They can serve as an anchor to this moment, as well as a tool to nurturing self-compassion.

So let's begin.

Activity Steps

01

Select an affirmation from this list or choose one of your own.

  • I am enough.
  • I am learning to love myself.
  • I choose happiness.
  • I am moving forward on my healing journey one choice at a time.
  • I have strength and power to take whatever comes my way.
  • I can do challenging things.
  • I am grateful for this day and the many possibilities it affords.
  • I deserve compassion, kindness, and understanding.
02
Repeat the affirmation in your mind as you inhale and exhale, envisioning the words as your anchor to the present.  
03
As your mind wanders, gently redirect it back to the affirmation, noting your drifting attention with patience and curiosity.  
04
Continue this exercise for 1–2 minutes. As you do so, you might choose a new affirmation to focus on or stick with the same one—whatever works best for you.  
05
When you are finished, allow yourself a few paced breaths, imagining feelings of warmth and compassion flowing through you.  

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Additional Resources

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Practicing Mindfulness 

Saprea Support Groups > Group Materials >Practicing Mindfulness 

#08

Practicing Mindfulness 

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Practicing Mindfulness 

As we practice Mindfulness, we can more easily feel connected to the present, observe our experiences without judgment, and cope with trauma symptoms like dissociation and triggers.
Download this resource (PDF)

#08

Practicing Mindfulness 

As we practice Mindfulness, we can more easily feel connected to the present, observe our experiences without judgment, and cope with trauma symptoms like dissociation and triggers.
Download this resource (PDF)
Each Saprea Support Group meeting begins with 'Group Leader A' reading the script while participants follow along. The script will be the same for every group meeting. Click here to find the script and get your meeting started. Below you will find the additional meeting materials for this course.

Group Activity

Disclaimer: While practicing meditation, there’s a chance you might experience dissociation and/or triggers. If this occurs, we encourage you to pause the meditation and redirect your attention to your breath or to a detail in your present environment (the color of a lamp, the sound of a fan, the feel of the carpet beneath your feet, etc.). From there, reassess if you’d like to continue the activity or try something else that may better meet your needs right now.

Meditation

Meditation is an especially powerful Mindfulness technique; it includes any time we focus our attention intentionally and with purpose. Each time we practice directing our attention in this manner, we increase our ability to create new neural pathways in the brain and to interrupt habitual thought patterns that are unwanted or intrusive by refocusing on our experience in the present.

Sometimes this type of focus can feel difficult, especially when we have a lot on our minds. Don’t get discouraged if you struggle to maintain your focus for lengthy periods of time, especially if you are just starting to explore mindful practices. Remember, it’s natural for the mind to wander, which is why a key part of Mindfulness and grounding is learning to redirect your attention back to the present, gently and without judgment.

Today we will try a simple meditation that centers around whatever anchor you choose.

If your mind wanders during this meditation, respond by gently guiding your attention back to your anchor with curiosity and self-compassion. As you do, you are strengthening the communication between the different parts of your brain by teaching your mind how to respond to your direction.

Activity steps

01
Choose an anchor on which you’ll focus for the next 3–5 minutes, such as a word, image, quote, object, or sensory detail. You can even choose your own breath.  
02
Relax and, with eyes closed or opened with a soft gaze, focus on the word(s), image, object, or other detail you’ve selected as your anchor.
03
Breathe slowly and fully. Find the speed that feels most comfortable to you.  
04
As your mind wanders, notice what your mind is interested in examining, and then bring it back to your anchor. Be patient with yourself, refocus, and keep going.  
05
After the 3–5 minutes is up, refocus your gaze and allow yourself a moment to reflect on how you felt during the activity. Remind yourself that it’s okay your mind wandered and will continue to wander in future meditations. Remember that meditation is not about clearing your head but about guiding your attention where you’d like it to go and gently redirecting it with compassion and curiosity whenever it wanders. 
06
Finally, reflect on your anchor. If you did this activity again, would you focus on the same anchor? Or would you like to try something else? If so, what are some other ideas you have for anchors in the future?  

Video Option

For a more guided experience, play this video and follow along in a 10-minute meditation 

Grounding Exercise

Paced Breathing

Think of your breath as an anchor that holds you to the present. Your breathing serves you right now, in this moment. You cannot take breaths for the past or for the future—only for your present needs.

So let’s begin.

Activity Steps

01
Take a moment to get comfortable. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
02
Rest a hand on your chest or stomach if it helps you feel calm.
03
Focus on the image of a breathing heart, one that swells with each inhale and compresses with each exhale.
04
Inhale through your nose, envisioning your heart expanding. Count four heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4.
05
Hold your breath, counting two heartbeats. 1, 2.
06
Exhale through your nose, envisioning your heart compressing. Count six heartbeats. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. The key is to try making the exhale longer than the inhale to help calm the body.
07

Repeat this for 2­–5 minutes, or if you are using the exercise to help manage a trigger, repeat these steps as many times as necessary to feel grounded in the present moment. You may also choose to place both hands over your heart as you envision it expanding and contracting. As your heartbeats slow, your breathing will get deeper, continuing to calm you.

Video Option

Watch this guided breathing video, timing your breathing to the opening and closing of the lotus petals. Repeat for 2–5 minutes, or as long as needed.

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Additional Resources

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, we invite you to explore these additional resources.